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Author Topic: Thought for the Day  (Read 808 times)
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Friar Tuck
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Original Post 2009-Apr-02, 07:26 AM

I feel duty-bound to share the wisdom I have absorbed during my rich and colourful lifetime.

It is clearly obvious than many on this forum have led very sheltered lives.  tears Others, and most of these are recent sign-ons, have spent most of their years lending their anuses to their fellow cell mates.  wub Their cells all carry a colourful sign that states "The inhabitants of this cell are like this gate, they swing both ways".

I shall, from time to time, post a thought, and forum members should take a moment to think about it's rich terminology. Carry it with you and share it around. And don't forget to smile biggrin

Todays thought of the day:

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
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monologue
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2009-Apr-02, 08:42 AM

fryrip
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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-03, 04:34 AM

Today's thought is very relevant to this forum:


A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'

'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'




This lesson also applies to tipping winners on this forum so study harder and  share often
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Bundy
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2009-Apr-03, 06:35 AM

"This lesson also applies to tipping winners on this forum so study harder and  share often  "

Its called "Tip One Winner Today (Any Day)"...... tongue



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Mrs Judge
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2009-Apr-03, 06:55 AM

Does this mean winnings have to be shared as well?
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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-03, 06:58 AM

What a lovely thought Mrs Judge.
Maybe you and I should discuss this matter privately.
Are you free at three?
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Mrs Judge
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2009-Apr-03, 07:21 AM

Not really a lovely thought for me (even though I consider myself unselfish), because that means I get less. There has to be a middle ground in that thought.
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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-03, 07:26 AM

I've always found the middle ground to be a very grey area. One is either in or out ( the old ding - dong theory ) and teetering on the edge is never the same, don't you think?



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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-04, 04:49 AM

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-05, 06:50 AM

Sunday, beautiful Sunday

A day when friars share with their flocks rolleyes



Have a chew on these:



Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why didn't I back Phelan Lucky when I was Phelan lucky?

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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-06, 05:17 AM

Don't ya just love Mondays?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-07, 05:18 AM

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
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OldLarsy
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2009-Apr-07, 07:39 AM

Why is ABBREVIATION such a long word?
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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-08, 05:50 AM

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?
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Friar Tuck
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2009-Apr-09, 06:12 AM




When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug'boats push their barges? 

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
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