Racehorse TALK

Other Talk => Blogs => Topic started by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-25, 08:59 PM

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-25, 08:59 PM
Hi Guys.

Enjoy!!
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-25, 09:00 PM
Think I might go for a crap.

I'll let you know how it works out.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-25, 09:25 PM
Well, that was more than satsfactory.

I might now blow my nose.

Stay tuned guys.



Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-25, 09:34 PM
No, Kylie, no.

I'm not going to tell them about that. :shy:
 
They would all be so jealous.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Arsenal on 2010-Aug-25, 09:35 PM
Think I might go for a crap.

I'll let you know how it works out.

Don't bother :bleh:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-26, 07:44 PM
Didn't do much today.

Old Mabel was feeling poorly so Heather, Bessie and Dulcie asked me to fill in for her in their weekly euchre game.

They were so effusive in their thanks that I thought at any time one of them would whip out their dentures and offer me a blowjob.

But it didn't happen.

In the fifteenth and last game, seven games all, trailling 7-10, I ordered up Bessie when she turned the 7 of Hearts, holding both bowers, the King of Hearts and Aces of Clubs and Spades as suit.

And got euchred.

I'm going to be the laughing stock for weeks, or maybe months.

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Aug-26, 07:51 PM
Really enjoying this thread Geoffrey  :yes:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: chuggers on 2010-Aug-26, 11:06 PM
Can I get in on this Geoffrey, cause I get all excited on what I'm missing on Twitter.

Went to work, ordinary day, but studied some form for Sat. Come home, Mark PM'ed me, getting excited for weekend

Showed wife video--horse race--wife knows everything  etc...--thinks I'm hiding something

Cannot find anyone to back Souths......

 :beer:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: omnitrader on 2010-Aug-27, 08:23 AM
Whats the plans for today JW?. Hows Mabel, I do hope she is feling better. Did you make her a nice home cooked dinner last night or was it the same old mashed spuds, mushy peas and pre chewed streak?.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Hamish Crayfish on 2010-Aug-27, 05:05 PM
A lot of new members joining since JWH commenced tweeting.
Coincidence?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Aug-27, 05:07 PM
A lot of new members joining since JWH commenced tweeting.
Coincidence?

No,

Don't under estimate the power of Twitter, especially with a quality twitter like JWH   :noteworthy:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: omnitrader on 2010-Aug-27, 06:15 PM
Where is JWH today??. A bit lost without his tweets. Hope the stress from getting beat at cards by a couple of friskey fillies hasnt got him down.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Aug-27, 06:21 PM
friskey fillies hasnt got him down.

Maybe, they did, get him down, and that is why he is missing  :o
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: chalky on 2010-Aug-27, 06:22 PM
Where is JWH today??. A bit lost without his tweets. Hope the stress from getting beat at cards by a couple of friskey fillies hasnt got him down.

The twit is down so no tweets. $
Apparently he is somewhere between Lidcombe and Homebush as we speak, another night of S & M for JWH i fear......
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-27, 11:09 PM
Yes, went to the game.

My nurse Kylie says she decided to wait up so the she could put me to bed.

Hers.

I told her that I wanted to watch the replay play of the match.

She convinced me to her way of thinking by saying I could do to her what Souths did to Parra.

Nighty-night, guys.

More later.

 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Aug-27, 11:47 PM
This is becoming as enthralling as the Dukes Ramblings ;)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: omnitrader on 2010-Aug-28, 12:20 PM
I flew tru my work this morning as i was so looking forward to Big JW's next tweet and OMG...nothing. Starting to think  those lively fillies he played cards with have held him hostage. He says he went the the game but no tweets while he was there and nothing about the trip there and back....geez I hope nurse Kylie hasnt caught him playing hide the sausage with either Heather, Bessie or Dulcie. How is poor old Mabel?? no update on her yet, C'mon JW we need the updates.  :biggrin:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-28, 02:21 PM
omni

Don't let youe imagination run wild.

More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: omnitrader on 2010-Aug-28, 03:16 PM
Will go and watch paint dry in the rain then, might be more interesting  :bye:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Aug-29, 03:27 PM
I'll tell you what:

Those run-on views of female jockeys pulling up their mounts tend to hold one's interest in a race longer than is warranted from a horse form perspective.

More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Aug-29, 03:58 PM
Some have really nice form JWH ........
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-01, 09:09 PM
Buggered if I know.

We get a yokel who realises that there is such a word as "paradigm" and all of a sudden all the other yokels think that whatever happens in their provincial "Hall of Fame" awards night means more than diddly-squat are on their soap boxes.

Pass.

Must go now, I've got my nose hairs to clip.

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-07, 08:35 PM
I've heard, and read, some criticisms of Oakeshott's press conference.

"He likes the sound of his own voice".

"Wake me up when he gets to it".

"Who does he think he is".

etc etc yada yada yada.

He prefaced his support for Labor by giving detailed reasons.

He had in mind not only the nation, but his own constituents.

How much notice would have been taken had he said

"Thanks for coming, I've decided to support Labor, and here are my reasons"?

I reckon those critical of him would regard foreplay as taking off their pants.

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Wenona on 2010-Sep-07, 08:41 PM


Must go now, I've got my nose hairs to clip.




Do you use scissors?

I find sticking the side end of a disposal razor up the nostril and giving it a quick twirl is quite effective.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-07, 09:09 PM
No, what I did a a couple of years ago was contact this lass for advice.

She sent me a tape which I've adapted to suit the region I was interested in.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-08, 08:02 PM
Two months ago

"Please sir, I've left my glasses at home, can you tell me the time the next bus leaves?"

"Sure, reading the timetable" I said "9.15".

Leaving I thought "Poor bugger, he's obviously illiterate, and using the no glasses line as a prop".

Last Saturday

Holding a carton of eggs, patting myself down to no avail, "Mate, I've left my glasses at home, can you tell me the use by date?"

"9th October" he repied.

I'll bet pounds to peanuts he left thinking

"Poor bugger, he's obviously illiterate, and using the no glasses line as a prop".

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-09, 07:58 PM
An otherwise intelligent, yet virulent ani-Labor, forumite inferred on the Broadband thread that because Tony Windsor doesn't use a computer he shouldn't have an opinion on the NBN.

I've yet to see Miss Mexico, the new Miss World, while she's nude, but I'll bet pounds to peanuts she would be a pretty sight.

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Sep-09, 08:45 PM
She has extra appendage.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-09, 09:17 PM
What is it with Tony Abbott's swagger?

Is he trying to instil confidence in his troops, or do his nuts hurt from his latest bike ride?

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-10, 10:04 PM
Night on the piss.

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-13, 08:28 PM
Maybe I'm late on the uptake, but it seems short skirts and black nylons are the go.

grrrr.

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-14, 08:53 PM
Just like little Audrey, I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Ian "Well, Julie, you're out on your bony arse: Andrew wants your job."

Julie "Have you got the numbers?"

Macfarlane "Andrew says he has."

Bishop "50% plus one?"

Macfarlane "Yep"

Bishop "50% plus one of 90+ Members and Senators?"

Macfarlane "Yep"

Bishop "How many have you got?"

Macfarlane "30"

Bishop "Thank God we didn't submit our spending promises to Treasury for their costings scrutiny."


More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-17, 09:59 PM
I'll tell you something for nothing: I wouldn't be a League or Union goalkicker for all the tea in China.

Because they are so good these days, albeit with a few advantages over the old guys, they are expected to kick goals, from left right or centre.

It would be different if they gained their place in the side because of their kicking ability, but 99 out of 100 times they do the kicking because they are the best kickers from the players selected to play.

I feel so sorry for Birt and Croker.

They feel they have cost their teams the games.

No matter what anyone tells them, they won't accept what they are told.

They will still blame themselves.

I know.

I still feel guilty for missing a field goal, from right in front from dummy-half, which would have won a grand final, and that was before Simms turned field goals from dummy-half into an art form.


More later.
 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Sep-18, 05:00 PM
Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARASSMENT?

A : Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-19, 07:45 PM
I'm the last one to discourage philosophy, but where's the segue?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-19, 08:09 PM
I feel as guilty as hell.
 :shy:
It's about our esteemed member Jim Pike.

Jim , obviously thinks long and hard about what he posts.

Some of what he posts I agree with.

With some I don't.

But, and this brings me to my guilt feelings.........My eyes glaze over on many of his posts.

I don't finish reading some. :shy:

I remember I suggested he use a few space bars when he was here on another nic.

And it sort of had some effect for a while.

Maybe I'm on my lonesome on this one? :shy:

 

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Sep-19, 08:12 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-20, 04:16 PM
Aficionados of Queensland Racing are probably saddened to hear that Doubledee will no doubt be too tied up with his filing activities here to help with them with their punting endeavours.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Hamish Crayfish on 2010-Sep-20, 04:28 PM
dubbledee   :rolleyes:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-22, 08:24 PM
Some of us have our.... ummm - how shall I say this?...ummm... daily movement early in the morning as part of our morning ablutions.

Others, first thing before we start work.

Footballers, when they see a welcoming shoe, cafe table or hotel corridor.

The rest, when the urge strikes during the day.

My guess is that, for this current parliamentary term, both Labor and Coalition whips will encourage , under pain of political death,the members of their parties to adopt a disciplined regime rather than leave it to the call of nature.

"Bog on your own time" will be the new clarion call.

More later.

 
 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-26, 08:32 AM
 :chin:

Has anyone else read the "Saamidd (GB" thread and wondered whether Authorized has joined the forum under another nic?

 :chin:

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-26, 08:43 PM
I was at the pub today and overheard this conversation.

Authorized "Well, what have you got planned for my well-bred entire?"

Trainer "I'm looking at a 3200 metre maiden at Parkes."

A "No way, I've told you how well-bred he is".

T "doesn't matter, he can't run out of sight on a dark night".

A " He's the third cousin twice removed from a runner-up in the Arc, I've got big plans for his stud career"

T " He's a dromedary, he's had 35 starts and never beaten a runner"

A " I know more about racing than you'll ever know, you couldn't imagine the number of Euro racing websites I
access"

T "okay, where does he go?"

A " He goes to the Cox Plate, I'm the owner, I decide".

T "Okay, who do you want me to sign up to ride him".

A" The very best"

T " Beadman?"

A "No"

T "Dettori?"

A " No, me"

T " But you're as fat as pig."

A "I'll declare 80kgs over."

T "Right, you pay the bills.........hang on, you don't....I want the $20,000, you owe me or he goes to the doggers."

A "Bugger."



More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Sep-26, 11:10 PM
I am sure when Kylie is giving you a good rub you are thinking of moi.    :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-27, 07:52 PM
Some of us have our.... ummm - how shall I say this?...ummm... daily movement early in the morning as part of our morning ablutions.

Others, first thing before we start work.

Footballers, when they see a welcoming shoe, cafe table or hotel corridor.

The rest, when the urge strikes during the day.

My guess is that, for this current parliamentary term, both Labor and Coalition whips will encourage , under pain of political death,the members of their parties to adopt a disciplined regime rather than leave it to the call of nature.

"Bog on your own time" will be the new clarion call.

More later.

 
 

Anyone see the 7.30 Report?


More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Sep-30, 08:22 PM
Re this issue of Bikini Racing.

It's all about one thing.....tits.

Well, maybe that's two things, but seeing that no grammarians are on my twitter account there's no need to worry about that.

The thing is that females know that males, most anyways, are interested in them.

And once their own begin to droop and sag they want all others to do the same.

They want droopy and saggy boobs to be de rigeur.

They are threatened by those with pert ones.

Ergo......they don't want Bikini Racing

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-02, 09:23 AM
One selection for Randwick today

At Panic On Roads.




Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Hammer on 2010-Oct-02, 11:43 AM
Good luck with the Captain.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-02, 07:24 PM
One selection for Randwick today

At Panic On Roads.


Mor later...when I sober up.....(hic)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-06, 12:43 PM
I'm not big on copying and pasting others' opinions, but in this case I'll make an exception.

JWH


A note to Tea Party activists: This is not the movie you think it is. You probably imagine that you’re starring in “The Birth of a Nation,” but you’re actually just extras in a remake of “Citizen Kane.”

 
Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times
Paul Krugman

Go to Columnist Page »Blog: The Conscience of a Liberal
Related
Times Topic: Tea Party MovementTrue, there have been some changes in the plot. In the original, Kane tried to buy high political office for himself. In the new version, he just puts politicians on his payroll.

I mean that literally. As Politico recently pointed out, every major contender for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination who isn’t currently holding office and isn’t named Mitt Romney is now a paid contributor to Fox News. Now, media moguls have often promoted the careers and campaigns of politicians they believe will serve their interests. But directly cutting checks to political favorites takes it to a whole new level of blatancy.

Arguably, this shouldn’t be surprising. Modern American conservatism is, in large part, a movement shaped by billionaires and their bank accounts, and assured paychecks for the ideologically loyal are an important part of the system. Scientists willing to deny the existence of man-made climate change, economists willing to declare that tax cuts for the rich are essential to growth, strategic thinkers willing to provide rationales for wars of choice, lawyers willing to provide defenses of torture, all can count on support from a network of organizations that may seem independent on the surface but are largely financed by a handful of ultrawealthy families.

And these organizations have long provided havens for conservative political figures not currently in office. Thus when Senator Rick Santorum was defeated in 2006, he got a new job as head of the America’s Enemies program at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, a think tank that has received funding from the usual sources: the Koch brothers, the Coors family, and so on.

Now Mr. Santorum is one of those paid Fox contributors contemplating a presidential run. What’s the difference?

Well, for one thing, Fox News seems to have decided that it no longer needs to maintain even the pretense of being nonpartisan.

Nobody who was paying attention has ever doubted that Fox is, in reality, a part of the Republican political machine; but the network — with its Orwellian slogan, “fair and balanced” — has always denied the obvious. Officially, it still does. But by hiring those G.O.P. candidates, while at the same time making million-dollar contributions to the Republican Governors Association and the rabidly anti-Obama United States Chamber of Commerce, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation, which owns Fox, is signaling that it no longer feels the need to make any effort to keep up appearances.

Something else has changed, too: increasingly, Fox News has gone from merely supporting Republican candidates to anointing them. Christine O’Donnell, the upset winner of the G.O.P. Senate primary in Delaware, is often described as the Tea Party candidate, but given the publicity the network gave her, she could equally well be described as the Fox News candidate. Anyway, there’s not much difference: the Tea Party movement owes much of its rise to enthusiastic Fox coverage.

As the Republican political analyst David Frum put it, “Republicans originally thought that Fox worked for us, and now we are discovering we work for Fox” — literally, in the case of all those non-Mitt-Romney presidential hopefuls. It was days later, by the way, that Mr. Frum was fired by the American Enterprise Institute. Conservatives criticize Fox at their peril.

So the Ministry of Propaganda has, in effect, seized control of the Politburo. What are the implications?

Perhaps the most important thing to realize is that when billionaires put their might behind “grass roots” right-wing action, it’s not just about ideology: it’s also about business. What the Koch brothers have bought with their huge political outlays is, above all, freedom to pollute. What Mr. Murdoch is acquiring with his expanded political role is the kind of influence that lets his media empire make its own rules.

Thus in Britain, a reporter at one of Mr. Murdoch’s papers, News of the World, was caught hacking into the voice mail of prominent citizens, including members of the royal family. But Scotland Yard showed little interest in getting to the bottom of the story. Now the editor who ran the paper when the hacking was taking place is chief of communications for the Conservative government — and that government is talking about slashing the budget of the BBC, which competes with the News Corporation.

So think of those paychecks to Sarah Palin and others as smart investments. After all, if you’re a media mogul, it’s always good to have friends in high places. And the most reliable friends are the ones who know they owe it all to you.

A version of this op-ed appeared in print on October 4, 2010, on page A27 of the New York edition.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-07, 12:52 PM
I hear that Tony is having a peaceful night's sleep?


More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-08, 09:45 PM
What do these female swimmers do with their tits?

More later.....when i figure it out.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-10, 06:02 PM
Kimillsy - a duel exceptor yesterday.

Lesson: best not post outlandish statements whilst in one's cups.

More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-11, 09:30 AM
Heard of this from the front.

General " Morning Mr Abbott, did you sleep well?"

Abbott "I'm fine thanks General, I want you to embed me with the troops for four days to see whether they are doing it tougher than I am recovering from jetlag"

General " Sorry, Mr Abbott, no can do for security reasons"

Abbott " Because I might say something stupid and have the Taliban, the locals, the allies and our own troops gunning for me?"

General "Well, that's one reason, there is another more important reason."

Abbott " What?"

General "Have a look at yourself man, with you running around in those red Speedoes every man and his dog will be taking potshots at everyone within cooee of you?

Abbott "Oh"

More later.
   
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-11, 06:48 PM
My escritoire has been rifled.

I suspect I know the culprit.


More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-12, 12:45 PM
Yep, just as I suspected: it was my senior footman, Symes.

Was looking for the key to my successful punting, he told me.

Well, I've just punted him.



More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Oct-12, 12:46 PM
What do these female swimmers do with their tits?

More later.....when i figure it out.

Did you figure this out ?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Oct-12, 03:12 PM
Did you figure this out ?

I know what I would do with them  :sweat:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-13, 08:15 PM
I wonder what others do with their inglenooks during summer.


More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-14, 06:16 PM
TonyWatch

"PeopleSkills" Tony

"jetlagged" Tony

"Don't believe anything I say" Tony

"Gatekeeper of the nation's values and ideals" Tony

That's off the top of my head.

More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-15, 08:19 PM
Hi Kristina.

They tell me you don't read what I say.

I can't believe that.



More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-17, 05:59 PM
Re the Climate Change Debate.

We need to answer this

What is worse for Mankind?

If the Believers are wrong - and we spend too much by doing too much.

Or

If the Sceptics are wrong - and we don't spend enough by doing little.


More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-19, 12:46 PM
I couldn't find an appropriate thread for this so I thought I'd stick it in here.

The sires of the eight winners at Muswellbrook yesterday were
Magic Albert (2)
Stravinsky
Choisir
Hussonet
More Than Ready
Redoubte's Choice
Fastnet Rock.

We're talking Muswellbrook, not Randwick.
 

More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2010-Oct-19, 11:11 PM
Re the Climate Change Debate.

We need to answer this

What is worse for Mankind?

If the Believers are wrong - and we spend too much by doing too much.

Or

If the Sceptics are wrong - and we don't spend enough by doing little.


More later.

We do have to do something but it has to be the right thing.

As I keep saying, dropping our emissions from 1.4% of global emissions to 1.26%- which would be absolute best case, is not the right thing to do. In fact it is patently stupid.

It is not morally or logically right to put untold pressure on lower income earners to achieve these results. Even if the Climate Change science is accepted by all, it is still not morally right to tax everyone to make this small difference. The efforts have to be focused on things that CAN make a difference. And getting the USA and China to change policy is plan A, B and Z.

It's like the 2 schools and the BER on the front page of today's paper from the same electorate. Both received $3 million but the results were very different

At Mount Crosby State School, the centre of one of 21 complaints lodged in Queensland against BER, $3 million is not enough to put four walls around an 831sq m hall and to add a 273sq m library and resource centre to the school's existing 111sq m library.

But Moggill State School, which fought to have its own project manager and won, is building a hall of almost 1500sq m and a library and 458sq m resource centre   for the same price.


With a tiny bit of planning, both schools would get the facilities they deserve. It is just disgraceful. The problem has come because people have convinced themselves that 'we will look back in 10 years and at least the schools will have something.'

Why not  :censored: ing do it properly from the start?

With Climate Change and the Carbon Tax we can't afford to do something just to do it. You guys think that is the moral high ground but it isn't. You are putting pressure on young families for no real benefit. That is immoral.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-20, 01:12 PM
I see the Anglican archbishop of Sydney, Peter Jensen, has been able to hang on to his humble Darling Point manse.

It's such a relief as those anxious to sell were going to turf him out, and stick him into a humbler $8 million shack.


More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-24, 04:40 PM
On the one hand we've got some of our very best trainers and fitness assessors, on various threads, saying that So You Think has had enough (after a four race prep)

And on the other hand we've got Bart saying he needs a run in the Mackinnon.

 :chin: :chin:

I don't know who to believe.


More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Oct-24, 04:45 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Oct-24, 05:36 PM
Well, where else can you train a racehorse with out ever having to put a saddle on     :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-24, 07:23 PM
Trying to figure it out I've decided to turn to history.

So You Think  began this prep on the 28 Aug winning the Memsie

Then won the Underwood

Then won the Yalumba Caulfield Stakes

Before he won the Cox Plate.

Now some say he's buggered. Looked stressed after the win. Time for rest. They say.


Rising Fast  began his prep on the 4th Sept for a 4th in the Memsie. 7 days later than SYT's 1st start.

Then won the Feehan

Then 2nd in the Underwood

Then won the Turnbull

Then won the Caulfield Stakes

Then won the Caulfield Cup

Then won his Cox Plate on the 23rd Oct.

Then won the Mackinnon

Then won The CUP

and

Then for good measure, four days later, finished his prep with a win in the Fisher Plate.   

 :chin:
I think I've figured someting out.


More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-25, 07:08 PM
I'm thinking of leaving the forum.




More later, maybe.






Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2010-Oct-25, 07:10 PM
Why?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-25, 07:19 PM
Well, because of you actually.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2010-Oct-25, 07:31 PM
Trying to figure it out I've decided to turn to history.

I think I've figured someting out.


More later

So you've got your swiss bank account number to place your melbourne cup winings, in order to purchase Bob Dylan's first abode to live happily ever after.  Oh ! providing yu have the winning MC combination   :biggrin:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-25, 08:09 PM
I've always wondered what my obit would read.

Reading Vamp's post re Jim gave me cause for pause.

But

I've decided to carry on.

I reckon I know what my obit would read.

"Thank God he's gone"

And I'm not gunna give that opportunity.

Voluntarily anyway.


More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2010-Oct-25, 08:52 PM
I don't want to have anything to do with the reason for you leaving  :tears:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-26, 11:52 AM
For fifty-one weeks of the year connections whinge that their horses have been given too much weight.

For one week they whinge that they haven't been given enough weight.



More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-28, 08:00 PM
Have DD, 777, and Wenona got valid passports?




More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Oct-30, 06:46 PM
Oh dear.

Once again, how many Vic trained horses won any of the eight races, in which they were opposed, on the "best race day of the year"?




More later.





Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Oct-30, 07:19 PM
Is the forum playing up for anybody else ?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: triple7 on 2010-Oct-30, 07:21 PM
Yes
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Oct-30, 08:32 PM
Would be backups running I would think, it will come good.

Biggest problem will be the All  Topics board, just use the board names for the time being
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-03, 07:52 PM
So now we lose So You Think. :sad:

And once again the cultural cringe element is at it again.

"It's great that we now have a horse going overseas to prove that we aren't a racing backwater...etc etc"

"Just imagine...... he will do wonders for our reputation.... etc etc"

"Let's show them that we don't really believe that we aren't much chop, well we do, but let's try to fool them......etc etc"





More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-03, 08:53 PM
People keep saying "Cool" when I say something.

 :chin:
I wonder whether they think I'm Kookie Byrnes.





More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2010-Nov-03, 08:59 PM
JWH
Can't imagine you on the Sunset Strip ;)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: gratlog on 2010-Nov-04, 06:20 AM
Don't know why I remember this but Kookie Byrnes was telling one of the other members of this show that he had rang him the night before but he had probably gone to bed.

His way of saying this was something like this. "Ï tingled your pad but you had already hit the feathers."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-04, 08:26 PM
Big, Big news soon to be released.

In discussions as we speak.

Due to confidential agreements can't say more now.





More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Nov-04, 08:36 PM
Souths have signed Wayne Bennett for 2012.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Nov-04, 08:46 PM
lol
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Hamish Crayfish on 2010-Nov-05, 02:32 AM
Bob at Byron for Bluesfest :)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Nov-05, 09:03 PM
              
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-08, 05:30 PM
One bloke on the forum spoke about Black Caviar  giving Star Witness 6.6lbs.

And elsewhere that So You Think is a 14f horse.

I wonder whether he likes his beer warm.




More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Nov-08, 05:31 PM
No mate I don't.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-09, 08:40 PM
Beware of pale imitations.






More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2010-Nov-09, 08:41 PM
Will you get cranky if we move your blog, to the blogging section my lord    :king:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Nov-09, 08:43 PM
That's how much fear this bloke engenders on to the forum.   :clown:  The boss is fearful of moving this thread without permission.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-10, 11:35 AM
Wasn't Joel worried that the dog might take one look and think it was lunch?



More later (in the blog area).
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2010-Nov-10, 01:57 PM
That is the part that baffles me the most  :wacko:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-10, 03:31 PM
Gee, the esses are having a day ot at the joint beginning with an "S".



More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-10, 07:05 PM
Come The Revolution

For men's wear to be retailed in Australia it will need to comply with stringent standards vis-a-vis sizes.

No more of the mix & match of 37 42 47 etc

Or 97 102 105 etc

Or X XX 2X 2X1 etc

Or Small Medium Large etc

Or etc etc etc

There will be one measurement standard: end of section.

Then there will be only one variable: our own body size. 

There is a similar issue with women's wear.

I know from my own weekend job as a bra fitter.

I could never come to grips with (pardon the pun) the sizes: there are dozens from 8AA to 22I or from 30A to 44J or from 65 A to 100J.

It's a nightmare.

So I developed my own standard

1/2 Handful

1 Handfull-soft

1 Handfull-firm

1 1/2 Handfuls-_Soft

1 1/2 Handfuls-firm

Etc Etc.

Kylie, in a fit of pique one night, reckoned I had an alternative measurement standard vis-a-vis my mouth, but I ignored that.



More Later

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2010-Nov-10, 10:42 PM
 :clap2:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: usernametaken on 2010-Nov-11, 07:35 AM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-11, 06:30 PM
Do you remember our friend from the old forum who went by the nic of "Bubbles"?

I still chuckle how he came upon that nic.

He came home one night and decided to join the forum, but wondered what his nic should be.

He ran a bath, stripped off, and luxuriated for some time pondering his proposed nic, closing his eyes whilst doing so.

All of a sudden he farted.

Opening his eyes he saw the turbulence.

And Hey Presto, he had it.






More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2010-Nov-11, 10:45 PM
  :lol:

What a memory.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2010-Nov-11, 10:52 PM
Do you remember our friend from the old forum who went by the nic of "Bubbles"?

I still chuckle how he came upon that nic.

He came home one night and decided to join the forum, but wondered what his nic should be.

He ran a bath, stripped off, and luxuriated for some time pondering his proposed nic, closing his eyes whilst doing so.

All of a sudden he farted.

Opening his eyes he saw the turbulence.

And Hey Presto, he had it.

More later.
   :lol:  

What a memory.
Who cares :rolleyes:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-13, 06:44 PM
I was once a captain of a snooker team.

I wasn't he best player in the team, nor the worst.

I dropped myself from our very first semi-final match.

I regretted that later when the bloke I replaced myself with had a shocker, and that ended our year.

I hope Petro doesn't have the same cause for regret.




More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-14, 06:39 PM
The release of Aung San Suu Kyi has been wonderful news for those who hold the concept of freedom of speech dear.

Hopefully the next goal, of those with a democratic bent, is for the practice of deleting threads, and posts (other than those of a virulent nature) on this forum to be discontinued.




More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-15, 08:15 PM
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.





More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2010-Nov-15, 08:30 PM
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.





More later

  emthup
The release of Aung San Suu Kyi has been wonderful news for those who hold the concept of freedom of speech dear.

Hopefully the next goal, of those with a democratic bent, is for the practice of deleting threads, and posts (other than those of a virulent nature) on this forum to be discontinued.




More later.

  emthup   emthup   emthup
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2010-Nov-16, 08:57 AM
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


How would someone from the conservative side of politics interpret this?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-17, 07:34 PM
Just when you think it's safe to poke your head out from under the doona, because you've seen off these crass Reality shows Big Brother, Survivor, Dancing With The Stars (sic) etc

The Big Bopper of Reality TV, The Royal Family, elbows its way into the limelight.

Tell me when it's safe to come out.





More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2010-Nov-17, 07:37 PM
If I had given my wife my mothers engagement ring, she would have thought I was a tightarse
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-21, 09:40 AM
Generally, Australian punters know better than non-punters in which Australian states are small country towns.






More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2010-Nov-21, 11:55 AM
  :lol:

It's so true. My Dad knows more country towns than anyone alive.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-22, 07:51 PM
Can't understand this teenage predilection for having their shoelaces untied.

Must be a rebellious sort-of-thing, but frankly I preferred the I-won't-wear-a-bra-if I-don't-wanna rebellion.





More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Skybeau on 2010-Nov-23, 07:27 AM
Can't understand this teenage predilection for having their shoelaces untied.

Must be a rebellious sort-of-thing, but frankly I preferred the I-won't-wear-a-bar-if I-don't-wanna rebellion.





More later

Bars are heavy mate, especially one's made of steel ... would have been plenty not wanting to wear one.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Nov-26, 08:42 PM
I believe that on a News report following the recently completed Austalian Masters, the announcer advised the viewers.

"Tiger Woods wasn't pleased with his 69 today"





More later (in about a fortnight)

 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-10, 10:45 AM
Hi Honey, I'm Home.






More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: gratlog on 2010-Dec-10, 11:16 AM
   I'm following Mr Warne on Twitter and you have a lot of tweets to do to catch him  :biggrin:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-11, 11:55 AM
Remember when they watered thirsty racecourses, golf courses and football fields?

Nowadays they put irrigation on them.






More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-13, 06:58 PM
Boy, do I have some hot goss for you guys.

I'd ask for you to keep it under your hat until 9.00am tomorrow.

You will all remember Sean McSpinner.

Sean held the record as World Champion farter from May 1990 until June 2005.

He had the enviable ability to fart on demand. He was the star turn at many functions ranging from buck's nights to high-powered business conferences.

You'll remember the night of the 23rd of June 2005 when his career went into a slide (to coin a phrase).

It was the night of the NSW Liberal Party conference at Darling Harbour when everyone in the first three rows realised Sean had lost his ability to control some very important muscles.

Anyway, Sean was photographed last Sunday with former Olympic high-jump champion, turned Conservative politician, Ima Lovaofalegova.

Some unsavoury pervert took three photos of Ima with her lips wrapped around a Big Mc in Sean's Ferrari.

I've sent them to Uncle Rupe and expect them to feature in his worldwide chain of newspapers tomorrow morning.





More later.


Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-15, 06:48 PM
"Man's Inhumanity to Man"

Don't blame the Liberal party.

Don't blame the Labor party.

They are both listening to the focus groups composed of......Australians.

We should be ashamed of ourselves.

I am.





More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Dec-16, 03:41 PM
  emthup

Just had an argument here at work.

Apparently there is a dasterdly plan to take over the country.

It will not happen in our life time, I was told, But it will happen in our grand kids ttime.

And people believe this.  :embarrassed:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-19, 01:46 PM
It's still working a treat.

I'm talking my "Bullshit Detector".

Briefly it's this.

When you hear a supposedly knowledgable cricket pontificator say " We've won this", or "We've lost this" you can guarantee they really do not "know" cricket. Cricket ain't in their DNA.

Ever since NSW were 9 for 113 following Victoria's innings of 376 when Hooker joined Kippax at the crease I've known cricket's a game which truly ain't over till it's over.




More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Dec-20, 12:37 AM
It's still working a treat.

I'm talking my "Bullshit Detector".

Briefly it's this.

When you hear a supposedly knowledgable cricket pontificator say " We've won this", or "We've lost this" you can guarantee they really do not "know" cricket. Cricket ain't in their DNA.

Ever since NSW were 9 for 113 following Victoria's innings of 376 when Hooker joined Kippax at the crease I've known cricket's a game which truly ain't over till it's over.




More later

South Africa have not looked like getting through the last 4 wickets - Than Steyn decides enough is enough and starts bowling one of the most hostile spells in history.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-24, 06:40 PM
I must tell you a true story about our recent cruise.

We went on board about 3.00pm and went to our suite.

A cheerful young chap appeared and said

“I am your cabin steward for the cruise, my name is Christian, allow me to explain a few things Ma’am, Sir.”

“Geoff” I said extending my hand for a handshake.

He told us about a few things and left.

Later that afternoon we went out and saw Christian in the corridor

“Good afternoon Ma’am, Good afternoon Sir Geoff” he appeared to have said.

Next morning it was “Good morning Ma’am, Good morning Sir Geoff.

Mrs JWH said “ You’ll have to tell him to stop that”.

Later that night two bar stewards, once they saw our suite number from our cruise card said at different times  “Another drink, Sir Geoff?”

Well, I couldn’t correct them as that would make Christian look a goose, as obviously he had told them that he was attending to the cabin of a knight, Sir Geoff.

I said to Mrs JWH “The only thing for it is to accept it, and for you to call me Sir Geoff in public”

“Yeah Right” she said.

So I spent a fortnight being called Sir Geoff by everyone, with one notable exception.

I must admit, I quite liked it. :embarrassed:





More later
 

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: gratlog on 2010-Dec-24, 06:49 PM
  :lol:
Good story Sir Geoff  emthup
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2010-Dec-24, 06:55 PM
Lucky your name isn't Lee. Then again, your wife might have been happier
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2010-Dec-24, 07:03 PM
Lucky your name isn't Lee. Then again, your wife might have been happier
That's cute, I had a giggle   :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: triple7 on 2010-Dec-24, 07:20 PM
Yeah well don't get used to it cause it ain't going to happen around here.   :lol:

 :bleh:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-25, 08:56 PM
Had wonderfully cooked roast pork today.

Mrs JWH produced crackling to die for. And I suppose one would should one eat too much, but that's a story for another day.

Well, she it wasn't all due to her, the pig had a significant input, I suppose.

I'd wager that on a $ per gram basis the cooked skin of a pig would fetch far more than the choicest of the cut of meat, imo.



More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Wenona on 2010-Dec-25, 09:15 PM
Have DD, 777, and Wenona got valid passports?




More later.


I've got two actually.   :yes:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2010-Dec-27, 06:52 PM
Stop me if you've heard this before.

A frog goes into a bank for a loan.

He sees the loans' officer, Patrick Whack.

He tells Patrick his name is Kermit Jagger and that he needs a loan, and that he's sure that as the Loans' Manager knows of his father it will be okayed.

Patrick asks for Kermit to complete an application form.

Which Kermit does, and hands it back.

Patrick then asks for some collateral, and Kermit gives him a small pink elephant.

Patrick goes back and sees the Manager, gives him the application form, and the small pink elephant saying.

"There's a frog outside, and here's his loan application, and he has given me this as collateral, what is it?"

The Manager takes a look a the application form, and the elephant, and says.

"It's a nic nac Paddywhack
 give the frog a loan
 his old man is a Rolling Stone"



More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2010-Dec-27, 07:09 PM
What did you make of the cricket today Kerry ?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: muttonbird on 2010-Dec-27, 07:43 PM
"There's two teams out there today and only one of them's playing cricket."

P Kelly 1987


Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-01, 01:49 PM
Finished off the Christmas ham today.

Fair dinkum, those boneless hams are a boon to all designated carvers.





More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2011-Jan-01, 01:56 PM

Fair dinkum, those boneless hams are a boon to all designated carvers.


Meat is sweeter close to the bone  :sad:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-01, 01:57 PM
Sugest you delete that in case FireZuki sees it. ;)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-02, 10:35 AM
Nurse Kylie came to see me for the first time in a fortnight. She looked dreadful, I could see she had been crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"They don't want me entering the Thursday night wet T-shirt comp next year, they reckon I'm too floppy." she sobbed.

With that she deftly slipped out of here uniform, and jiggled out of here bra.

"Look, I'm as firm as I was when I was nineteen"

I immediately saw what I had to do.

I scooped up her uniform, repositioned her within her bra, put a comforting arm around her and said

"I really should get myself a younger nurse."





More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-04, 08:31 PM
I'm gunna get me a radio station, so I can give you all the benefit of my taste in music.





More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-07, 12:45 PM
Mrs JWH has just informed me that cricketers began wearing boxes in 1874 and helmets in 1974.

"Took men 100 years to realise that their heads are as important as their old fellas" she concluded.





More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-09, 06:38 PM
When I went from winter to spring-summer clothing I retrieved from storage my short sleeved shirts.

I couldn't beleive that a very nice one I had last season had a biro ink stain in the pocket.

I've been reluctant to bin it as I'd only worn it once or twice, and I know it was rather expensive.

A couple of days ago I looked up some tips for removing biro ink.

And read that hairspray could be the answer.

Mrs JWH said she hadn't used it for 20 years and Kylie huffily told me only old people used hairspray.

I found such a person and borrowed the can.

I didn't hold out much hope as the stain was probably six-nine months old.

Lo and behold, together with a source of cotton balls, it has done the trick.

Bloody amazing.

I've thought that if it does that to ink stains what does it do to hair, but hey, I really don't care.





More later


Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2011-Jan-09, 08:15 PM

I couldn't beleive that a very nice one I had last season had a biro ink stain in the pocket.

More later
JWH
That's a fantastic tip, however when I went to primary school it was always 'i'  before 'e' except after 'c'  :p
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2011-Jan-09, 08:16 PM
I've heard but not tried that toothpaste works on white garments.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-09, 08:20 PM
JWH
 it was always 'i'  before 'e' except after 'c'  :p

And that's another fantastic tip.  :noteworthy:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2011-Jan-09, 09:36 PM
JWH
How do you keep your cotton balls from getting wet?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-10, 09:01 AM
Mono

If you are talkng about the ink removal tip, the cotton ball soaks up the wet ink caused by the hairspray.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: henry on 2011-Jan-10, 01:59 PM
JWH
How do you keep your cotton balls from getting wet?
keep your cottons out of the water
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-12, 07:27 PM
Gough continues his vist of the Greek ruins when Cyclone Tracy struck.

And he gets a shellacking.

Anna Bligh and Julia Gillard are very visable at the Brisbane floods.

And they get a shellacking.

John Howard happens to be in New York when the Twin Towers were destroyed.

He comes out of it as a some sort of a hero.

Wrong time for me to make a political point?

Yep.

Wrong time for others to do so?

Yep.





More later.
   
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2011-Jan-12, 08:47 PM
Gough continues his vist of the Greek ruins when Cyclone Tracy struck.

And he gets a shellacking.

Anna Bligh and Julia Gillard are very visable at the Brisbane floods.

And they get a shellacking.

John Howard happens to be in New York when the Twin Towers were destroyed.

He comes out of it as a some sort of a hero.

Wrong time for me to make a political point?

Yep.

Wrong time for others to do so?

Yep.





More later.
:no: :no: :no: Close, but no cigar, The Willard Hotel in Washington DC actually and flown home in Air Force 2.  Don't know about a hero perhaps a concerned Prime Minister, was going to say Head of State but we all know that would be the Governor General.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-12, 08:55 PM
Whatever.

But the point remains.












Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ricochet88 on 2011-Jan-13, 06:40 AM
You must be looking and listening to different media to me JWH .

Everything I see and hear is praising ANNA  and giving her well deserved credit for being the leader that was needed during the flooding crisis.

Julia unfortunately has brought all the criticism on herself by only giving monosyllabic answers and appearing to only sprout the PC line instead of displaying the knowledge of the crisis and the compassion that Anna and some of the local politicions have displayed in never ending proportions.

                                                                                     Ricochet
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-Jan-13, 08:56 AM
You must be looking and listening to different media to me JWH .

Everything I see and hear is praising ANNA  and giving her well deserved credit for being the leader that was needed during the flooding crisis.

Julia unfortunately has brought all the criticism on herself by only giving monosyllabic answers and appearing to only sprout the PC line instead of displaying the knowledge of the crisis and the compassion that Anna and some of the local politicions have displayed in never ending proportions.

                                                                                     Ricochet

 emthup
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-13, 03:16 PM
At the risk of being banned, here is a selection of PM's I've received.

1 "JWH you are wonderful."

2 JohnWesleyHarding, please consider me for Kylie's job. I'll tend to you like no one else can."

3 "Geoff, I love your tweets"

4 "JWH, boy are you so wise"

and that's just a selection


More later.



Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2011-Jan-13, 03:17 PM
At the risk of being banned, here is a selection of PM's I've received.
2 JohnWesleyHarding, please consider me for Kylie's job. I'll tend to you like no one else can."

Thanks for sharing my PM JWH  :rant:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-13, 07:23 PM
Magic

As I replied in my PM I doubt the the uniform would suit.

Choice of easily removed sheer black bra and matching panties.

Or

Bra less, with white T-shirt and matching bikini bottoms.

You probably haven't been so attired for some time.

At least not since that time when the coppers hauled you in for questionind  back on the 18th Jan 2007.




More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2011-Jan-13, 08:10 PM
At least not since that time when the coppers hauled you in for questionind  back on the 18th Jan 2007.

 :chin:

That was a night to remember  :shy:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-17, 07:20 AM
Here we go again.

That thorny issue of what consititutes a flood for insurance purposes.

Rivers breaking banks, torrential downpours causing flash floods, rainwater pouring into a building etc etc

Scholarly brows are soon to be furrowed nutting out a universally accepted definition

Well, the good news is I've done it free of charge.


"Heap big plenty water stuffs up humpy and belongums"



More later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-20, 06:53 PM
Why have we let them get away with it?

Fancy-dan restaurateurs I mean.

We've said nothing while they've served us:-

Servings so small that they can fit into your eye

At prices about the size of the GDP of a small nation state.

On plates so big that they could comfortably accommodate a junior sumo match.

With names so obscurely foreign that a UN translator would feel challenged.

But the game's all over red rover.

There's nothing to be done to address the issue.

I expect to be confronted with this on my next reading of a restaurant menu.

"Lightly fried eggplant drizzled with urine of grain-fed Himalayan yak"




More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-22, 09:15 AM
Ascot
1-1
2-1
3-3
4-2
5-7
6-1
7-5
8-2

Eagle Farm
1-5
2-1
3-2
4-2
5-4
6-3
7-1
8-3

Flemington
1-1
2-2
3-3
4-8
5-7
6-2
7-13
8-3

Rosehill
1-1
2-1
3-8
4-1
5-4
6-5
7-6
8-5

Morphettville
1-2
2-2
3-2
4-2
5-5
6-2
7-3
8-2

Albury
1-9
2-4
3-1
4-3
5-4
6-3
7-1

Toowoomba
1-2
2-2
3-8
4-8
5-2
6-1
7-3

Gold Coast
1-3
2-10
3-3
4-1
5-5
6-4
7-1
8-4

Moe
1-9
2-7
3-5
4-8
5-1
6-4
7-6

Newcastle
1-6
2-4
3-6
4-3
5-3
6-2
7-2

Wellington
1-2
2-1
3-2
4-7
5-8
6-8



More later.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: triple7 on 2011-Jan-22, 09:51 AM
Can we get England and Sth Africa to please.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-23, 10:30 AM
Nice to see one of my favourites, Rightson, salute at Eagle Farm yesterday after a gutsy performance.

This bloke has won 11 from 55 with upwards of $450,000 in prizemoney.

A full brother to that fine sprinter Mistegic, he has had a forum connection with "bookers" of the old forum having an uncle, I think it was, owning the dam Volcanic Mist.

bookers told us he was being sold to Hong Kong for $500,000, I think it was, but he failed the vet.

He commenced racing with Lee Curtis who took him to Melbourne for a fast-finishing third in a Group 2 sprint.

Moved to Maryann Thexton and then to Barry Baldwin.

His racing pattern has changed often over his career.

A tearaway, to a backmarker to an onpacer to a backmarker and now back to a leader.




More later.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2011-Jan-23, 10:32 AM
The word Versatile could be used to describe him.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Wenona on 2011-Jan-23, 12:07 PM
And tough as nails as well - not many win at their 21st start from a spell.  :no:

I'm still cranky about the day at Doomben I was on at huge odds and he was allowed to run after being vetted. It was a 2mw race and he came out next start and won without me.

From memory I think Geoff might share my feelings on that day as I think he also thought he would have gone very close bar the problems.



Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-23, 12:43 PM
I do.

He ran last, I think, and the other one vetted ran second last, or the other way around.

He's had at least one run in every month since last April.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Wenona on 2011-Jan-23, 01:45 PM
Yeah, the other one was Fifteen Carat.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-26, 07:03 PM
Friends, I feel so humbled.


 :shy:



More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Jan-26, 07:13 PM
  :lol:    :clap2:  You would deserve it.   :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-29, 07:42 PM
Saw a plain looking girl, with a chest as flat as a washboard, in a T-shirt with a motif, "You Wish"

"Hardly" I thought.





More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2011-Jan-29, 07:55 PM
Saw a plain looking girl, with a chest as flat as a washboard, in a T-shirt with a motif, "You Wish"

"Hardly" I thought.





More later

JWH (AO)

Wouldn't you like a flat chest?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jan-29, 09:18 PM
I don't want a chest that looks like my stomach.







More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2011-Feb-05, 08:31 PM
goin to bed pissed an broke  more later
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2011-Feb-05, 09:02 PM
Friends, I feel so humbled.


 :shy:



More later

JWH (AO)

What with the JWH (AO) Did Dylan get an Australian Award ?   :biggrin:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Feb-10, 07:25 PM
Following a stint at the gym Kylie is back in my favour.

She convinced me to attend a night at another nursing home as she had arranged for Henri, a French hypnotist, to entertain those she cares for, in a platonic sense.

I knew that I would be impervious to a hypnotist's blandishments as I've been reading all sorts of nonesense by racing tipsters over the years.

Anyway, Henri began swinging a Gold Louis Audemars gold repeater fob watch which had been in his family since 1896.

"Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch" he chanted while the forty-five people assembled there looked on with some intensity.

All of a sudden the chain broke.

"SHIT" exclaimed Henri.

The resultant odour was awful.

And Henri won't be entertaining there any time soon.





More later
JWH (AO)




Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Feb-15, 08:51 PM
About time Abbott got onto to his political soulmate Silvio and told him how to "turn the boats around"

Seems 4000 refugees have turned up there in the last few days.

More than turn up here in a year.

Tony ring Silvio, for Chrissakes.

He needs you.

And he needs you now.




More later
JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Feb-27, 07:54 PM
Henry Plumtre, the General Manager of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum's Darley operations announced today that despite what trainer Peter Snowden said yesterday, Sepoy, the pre-post favourite, would miss the Golden Slipper and will join the Goldophin stable as soon as a flight can be arranged.







That's the sort of news I was half expecting today.

I'm glad I was wrong.


JWH (AO).

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Feb-28, 07:21 PM
Didn't have to wait long.

Just until I read Craig Young SMH 28/02 when the idea (sort of) was canvassed.




More later.

JWH   (AO)

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Mar-03, 07:27 PM
"Will the anger have its desired political effect? Will it persuade Windsor and the other independents to switch support from Labor to Liberal? "It has the opposite effect," says Windsor."

The above is the last paragraph in an artilce in today's SMH reporting that radio shock-jocks are encouraging their callers to put the acid on Tony Windsor.

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/dial-up-death-threats-do-not-deter-as-shock-jocks-maintain-the-coalitions-rage-20110302-1bey4.html

The following is the sixth verse of Bob Dylan's "Floater (Too Much To Ask)" On Love and Theft.

One of the boss’ hangers-on
Comes to call at times you least expect
Try to bully ya—strong-arm you—inspire you with fear
[b]It has the opposite effect[/b
]








JWH (AO)

More later
 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Mar-13, 11:20 AM
Dreadful weekend.

Souths' beaten in the first round.

Essendon lose the pre-season final.

Arsenal out of the FA Cup.

Haven't backed a winner from four bets.





More later
(but no more of that bad news hopefully)

JWH  (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Mar-23, 07:40 PM
EFK's Office, March 24th.

EFK "Marge, get me Glenn Munzie."

Marge "Glenn Who?'

EFK "Glenn Munzie, our bookie."

Marge " We don't have a bookie.'

EFK " Well, get me the Glenn, our bloke who has been masquerading as a bookie."

Marge " What's he look like?"

EFK " I don't know, probably a shifty looking character who smokes a cigar, just ask HR."

Marge "Yes, sir."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Mar-25, 03:08 PM
EFK's Office, March 26th.

EFK "Marge, get me Glenn Munzie."

Marge "We don't kow where he is, sir."

EFK "Text him."

Marge "I don't know his number."

EFK "Ask P1 and P2."

Marge "They don't know it either."

EFK "Well, who the hell does?"

Marge "John  Elias."

EFK "John Elias, how does he know it? Bookies aren't suppose to be in contact with undesirables."

Marge "He's not a bookie, Mr Kuppers, a bookie would have taken that $1000 at the 5/1 quoted."

EKF " Leave me alone for a while Marge."

EKK "But before that bring me some Panadol."

Marge "Yes sir."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Mar-27, 06:05 PM
I have decided that I'm the leader of the State Labor opposition.

I don't have a seat in the NSW parliament, but that seems to no longer matter.

I will be annoucing my shadow cabinet in the forthcoming week.

I don't know whether the elected members will agree with my choices, but that seems to no longer matter.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Mar-30, 07:39 PM
I see today that the share price of Qantas has risen due to the company announcement that:

1 People will be sacked.
2 Services will be reduced.

THe natural extension of that will be that once Qantas employs no one, and has no services, the shareholders of Qantas will be worth squillions.

Ain't capitalism grand?



More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-02, 02:53 PM
S's.







More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-07, 08:48 PM
P2's Office April 8th.

P1 "What are they saying on the forum about what happened between Marge and me the other day?"

P2 "Can't say."

P1 "Why not?"

P2 "It was censored."

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-09, 07:16 PM
P2's Office 12th April.

Authorized "P2, do you mind being called P2?"

P2 "No, Authorized, I don't."

Authorized " Why not?"

P2 "Well, it's the name on my birth certificate."

Authorized "Is it?"

P2 "It's the name on my passport."

Authorized "Is it?"

P2 "And it's the name on my parole papers."

Authorized "Parole papers?"

P2 "Yes, my parole papers."

Authorized "(gulp) You aren't dangerous, are you?"

P2 "Only when I'm asked why the odds on winners are always crunched after the horses jump."

Authorized "One of life's great mysteries, I say."

 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-12, 08:15 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

Authorized "Authorized here, P2."

P2 "Yes Authorized, what can I do for you?"

A " Do you ever see the day when SKY has a 24 hour service?"

P2 "Yes."

A "In our life time?"

P2 "Mine, but not yours if you keep bugging me."

A "Will the TAB/Sky be covering Alaskan racing this season?"

P2 "No."

A " Why not?"

P2 " Because they don't have thoroughbred racing in Alaska."

A "Yes they do."

P2 " Name one decent thoroughbred horse that has come from Alaska."

Authorized "Eskimo Prince."

P2 clunk


Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: El Dufus on 2011-Apr-12, 08:34 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: MagiC~* on 2011-Apr-12, 08:57 PM
Comedian Genius, JWH.

Gold   :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: chuggers on 2011-Apr-12, 09:17 PM
Yes JWH---that is good.

Like a lot    :lol:

 8-)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-15, 07:53 PM
What an idiot.

Took 25/1 the other day thinking she'd  shorten for the the Oaks, and is now 35/1.
 
:embarrassed:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-16, 06:18 PM
Started 45-55 across the totes.

Thank God she didn't win, I'd be spewing.

That said, she drew wide, had to go back, sat wide, and finished well enough for me to be on again some time down the track.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-17, 03:34 PM
I put these Fantasy Fooball competitions in the same bag as Sports betting, the IPL and the soon-to-be Aust 20/20 comp.

There is a concerted effort afoot to break down supporters' loyalty to football teams, state, and even national cricket sides.

Rather than have us support our teams, through thick and thin, regardless of who plays for them they want us to follow individuals.

And, of course, for us to bet on these individuals as they go about their job of work regardless of the effect on "our team".

If they can break the back of team loyalty they believe we will be more ready to bet on someone who should be an implacable opponent.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Apr-17, 03:55 PM
Thats an interesting post Geoff.

I started playing them last season, This season I am putting a little more time into my teams and believe because of it I am getting to know more players outside of Canterbury more than I have since I was a kid when I could name all the players in first grade.

I enjoy it and it certainly has not seen myself barracking against Canterbury, Although I have sacked Jamal Idris. (That was costly)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-17, 04:09 PM
Once they get the kids hooked on it team support will be a thing of the past.

"Tell me about the old days grandpa Authorized, what was all that business about?"

"What business, little Mattie?"

"You know grandpa, that business about supporting a team and not your Fantasy football team comprising players who play in a whole different number of footy strips. A team you can change every week if the individuals aren't playing well."

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Apr-17, 04:14 PM
  :lol:  I hope Kylie appreciates your fertile imagination as much as we all do.  :thumbsup:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: gratlog on 2011-Apr-17, 04:18 PM
  :lol:

One thing I like about them is it does make you more aware of what players are going OK in some ways.

  I always support the Gold Coast sides and we have had a few different ones  :lol:

   While I enjoy Supercoach I don't take it too seriously. I'm in the League with Matt and also the local paper shop.  Trouble is , the bloke in the paper shop takes it so seriously.  So much so I sometimes go to the petrol station to get my paper so I don't have to listen to him.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-19, 09:39 PM
Seems like only yesterday when a gangly 17 year old made his debut for the Bombers, only to be unavailable the next week for a schoolboys' match.

"Christ" I thought at the time "It seems like on yesterday when his old man debuted."

What a great match he had as a 36 year old against Carlton on Saturday.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-22, 08:32 AM
EFK's Office, April 22nd.

P1 " Sir, it's Good Friday."

EFK "Thanks P1, I know."

P1 "There's no racing today."

EFK " Thanks P1, I know, tell me something I don't."

P1 "Well, I'll bet you don't know I've just had a call from JWH."

EFK " He's an impressive person P1, we should take notice of anything he says. What does he have to say?"

P1 " He wants to buy shares in Trackside for the day."

EFK " I told you he knows where it's at."

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-24, 07:56 PM
Stewards' room Randwick 23rd April 2011 2.18pm.

Ray Murrihy "Well, Mr Byrne please argue your case as to why the result should be overturned.

Jim Byrne "If Helmet hadn't ducked out we might have won."

RM "Might have?"

JB "Could have."

RM "Could have?"

JB "We'd have been right in it."

RM "Been right in it?"

JB "Given it a shake."

RM "Given it a shake?"

JB " Made it interesting."

RM "Made it interesting? Could you be more positive?"

JB "Positively made it interesting."

RM " What's that on your shoulder?"

JB "My sleeve tattoo."

RM " Do you know of JohnWesleyHarding?"

JB "No, who is he?"

RM "He's an esteemed, highly regarded, well respected member of an influential internet forum."

JB " So?"

RM " So, he has a theory that there is a direct relationship between the number of a person's tattoos and his commonsense."

RM " Protest Dismissed."


Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: gratlog on 2011-Apr-24, 08:00 PM
You are strange but in a good funny way  :lol:   :lol:

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Apr-24, 11:29 PM
Has JWH noted the Tattoo on one of the Souths players NECK indicating what number he is in order of first grade debut ?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-25, 08:09 AM
Yes.

This disfiguring practice is stupid.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-26, 09:25 PM
.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-27, 08:08 PM
.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-29, 09:32 PM
She's certainly an attractive young lass.

 :bulb:
Wonder whether, after she gets bored with all that regal jazz, she might like to take Kylie's job.

At least on a part time basis.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Apr-30, 07:57 PM
Re this smiley :bulb:

Other forumites are abusing this smiley.

They are sticking it in whenever they have any idea.

It should be, as it states, a great idea, not when something just pops into their head.

Abuse of this smiley warrants time in the sin bin. :bulb:

But then who will take over the "Place Challenge" thread? :chin:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-04, 09:10 PM
Friends
It seems I have put the cat among the pigeons by winning a prize in PP's TabCorp comp.

Let me explain my rationale.
The first prize was $400.
If I wanted $400 I'd dig up another jam tin.

Other prizes were shares in various bets.
History shows they are rarely successful, but nonetheless welcomed prizes.

The place strike rate prize was a $50 share in DoubleDee's Place challenge.

The prospect of having DoubleDee pay $50 for me to particpate in his own comp was, well, a temptation too hard for me to resist.

PS
With DD's agreement, I intend to use that prize for the benefit of the Midweek Comp.



Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-12, 08:24 PM
I like No 3 Race 5 tomorrow 13 May
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-13, 09:29 PM
Didn't quite work out. :embarrassed:



More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-May-13, 09:30 PM
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/1105/ngc6514_gabany.jpg
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-14, 11:16 PM
Malcolm Noad " Okay Steve, will you tell or will I?"

Steve Folkes " You can."

Malcolm "Okay son, we've called you in to say you have no future at our club. You're too small, and Brent Sherwin and Braith Anasta are far better all-round players than you."

Steve "Sorry, mate, but that's the way it is."

Malcolm " Close the door on the way out."

Player departs,door closes.

Malcolm "Steve, I never did get to know his name, what is it?"

Steve "Jonathon Thurstan."




JWH  (AO)
More later

PS Apologies to any innocent party.

But someone's guilty.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-May-15, 12:09 AM
I believe they were struggling to control him, He may not have reached his potential in Sydney.................
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-15, 12:15 AM
whatever.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-May-15, 12:17 AM
  :lol:   You don't think I am not disappointed he and Braith are not dominating the comp at the Doggies ?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-17, 08:48 PM
EFK's Office, May 18th.

EFK "P1, what the  :censored: 's happening?"

P1 "Sir?"

EFK " Don't give me that, what are we doing about these place totes on Supertab?"

P1 "We are investigating these betting patterns which is something we routinely do in our normal course of activities when it comes to monitoring large bets."

EFK " Don't give me that crap, I wrote it remember. What does it say about the integrity of our place pool and the dividends?"

P1 "No one seriously bets for the place, it won't matter one iota."

EFK " What about DoubleDee, he does, what will he say with all these money-back dividends?"

P1 " Oh, I wouldn't worry about what he'd say, sir."

EFK " Why not, what will he say?"

P1 " He'll just say, we'll have worse daze."

 

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: dubbledee on 2011-May-17, 08:49 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-19, 08:29 PM
P1 "Hi Honey, I'm home."

Honey " Hi, P1"

P1 "How was your day?"

H "Well, Robert.."

P1 "Stop,I don't want to hear that word."

H "What word?"

P1 "Rebate."

H " I said Robert,he ran off and rounding.."

P1 "Stop,I don't want to hear that word."

H "the corner he stepped on the garden rake....

P1 "Stop,I don't want to hear that word."

H "which stuck him in the face, I had no one to take..

P1 "Stop,I don't want to hear that word."

H "him for attention. So the Doc arrived and told me home visits were no longer in vogue..

P1 "Stop,I don't want to hear that word."

H "What word?"

P1 "Vo Rogue."

H "I said vogue..and that at times they do have their place...

P1 "Stop,I don't want to hear that word."

H "and pay dividends."

P1 "Stop,I don't want to hear that word."

H "P1, stop shaking love, everything's going to be okay, so tell me about your day."

P1

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-22, 11:30 AM
EFK's office 23rd May

EFK "P1, those $50,000 place bets?

P1 "Sir, I'm not putting them on."

EFK "I know, P1,I want to know how the place dividends are calculated."

P1 "Rule 16 covers it, sir."

EFK "That's what I told the Chairman's wife at dinner last night, and then when she asked me to explain it a self induced coughing fit saved me from further interrogation. What does Rule 16 mean?"

P1 "I don't know."

EFK "We'll find me someone who does."

P1 "No one does."

EFK "No one in your department?"

P1 "It's wider than that."

EFK "No one in this building?"

P1 "It's wider than that."

EFK "No one in TABCORP?"

P1 "No, no one in the world. Wait I tell a lie, remember that young guy we had here from Africa?"

EKK "The chap who spoke Swahili?"

P1 "He does."

EFK "Well who determines the dividends?"

P1 "Betty."

EFK "Who's Betty?"

P1 "Betty who serves in the staff canteen, the one who makes those delicious coconut macaroons: you should try some."

EFK "Betty understands Rule 16?"

P1 "No, we ask her for a number, any number to one decimal place between one and six."

EFK "So that's how the dividends are determined?"

P1 "Yep, it works a treat."

EFK "Close the door on the way out, I must ring the Chairman."
 
 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-May-22, 01:37 PM
No planes to NZ Geoff ?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-22, 01:47 PM
Couldn't cop the sorrowful trip back.

Vibes ain't great.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-May-24, 12:40 AM
Happy Birthday.


Dylan onstage at the Azkena Rock Festival,

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-May-25, 10:41 PM
JWH,

Who was the Newton winger you were looking for last night? I can't find your original post.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-May-25, 10:54 PM
Dudley Towers
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-May-25, 11:59 PM
.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-May-26, 09:32 AM
Thanks Author. That's not who I was thinking it might be. I think I was out by about 20 years.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-26, 07:36 PM
"Dad?"

Dad "Yes, son?"

Son " Half the team was made up of Tongan kids."

Dad "Were they son?"

Son "Yes, so they were twice my height."

Dad " Did you keep your head to the side?"

Son "Yes, but they were twice my weight."

Dad "Did you keep your 'eyes up'?"

Son "Yes,could you get the nurse to do something about my broken left shoulder?"

Dad "Did you use both shoulders?"

Son "Yes,could you get the nurse to do something about my broken right shoulder?"

Son "And dad?"

winner "Yes son?"

Son "You know how you reckon kicker is blowing wind out of his arse about climate change?"

winner "Yes son."

Son 'Well, can you tell him from me he's blowing a gale when he told you to tell me tackling doesn't hurt?"

winner "Yes son."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-May-27, 09:17 PM
P1 "Bloody hell!"

P2 "What?"

P1 "I thought the forum was asking about the Iranian kid I went to school with."

P2 "Who?"

P1 "A kid called Gorithm."

P2 "What was his first name?"

P1 "Can't remember."

P2 "Was it Al?"

P1 "Yes it was, Al Gorithm."

P2 "Just say you know that Algorithm."

P1 "Well, only in passing, what the hell am I going to say how he works?"

P2 "Dunno, do you want one of Betty's coconut macaroons, they're great?"

P1 "No thanks."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: usernametaken on 2011-May-28, 06:40 AM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-May-30, 01:50 PM
  :lol:   :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-May-30, 02:02 PM
JWH,

Interestingly my son ran into a team with a Tongan lad on the weekend.

I would say roughly 6 inches higher than our tallest player and about 15-20 Kgs more.

No need to worry about my son getting hurt though he was one of the first to jump out of the way. 8-)

"Timmy" certainly knew where the line was and scored 4 tries in the first half before he had to go off for a rest.

My son's team then scored 5 tries in last 5 minutes to get home.  :biggrin:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2011-May-30, 03:35 PM
What you describe Winner is a massive problem Winner.

And over time it will drive more and more kids to AFL.

Serious question, why did he go off? Did the opposition parents think it was too big an advantage?
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: usernametaken on 2011-May-30, 03:44 PM
We used to play under 6 st 4 lbs as juniors. Up to year 7.
Then it was age sides, under 14, under 16 etc.
Always seemed a fairer way to do it I thought.
Whether we like it or not, mothers have the biggest say in what sport our young fellas play, and there is no way a mother will allow her little soldier to be continually turkey trampled by an opposition player who he has to give 2 stone and 10 inches of height to.
Hence the big swing to junior soccer and AFL.
Sad but true.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-May-30, 04:02 PM
Timmy went off because he needed a rest. Not because he had too.

Being their main attack weapon he was tired and was given a longer break at half time.

At half time we had a chance to talk to our kids and tell them to race up in defence whenever he looked like getting the ball so they could grab him before he started moving. To their credit they did just that and their courage turned the game around.

Other than that match I have been surprised at how "even in size" the teams have been.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-02, 08:58 PM
EFK'S Office 3rd June.

EFK "P1, I hear our Tabcorp comp on the forum is popular."

P1 "Popular, they're asking for fingerprints of anyone who wants to play."

EFK "Bloody hell."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-08, 09:39 PM
I'd like it be known that my nurse Kylie has never had an affair with Ryan Giggs.






More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-09, 07:56 PM
Today's epistlelette is about the proposed Carbon Tax.

Stay with me on this as it's complicated.

Maybe not for you, but for me.

Read slowly, because I'm typing slowly.

Some facts:-
1 The government says it is going to bring one in.

2 Tony Abbott says it's going to result in higher prices for all of us.

3 Tony Abbott says that should he become prime minister the tax will be repealed.

4 The government says it will bring in compensation for some of us.

Questions

1 When the tax is repealed will prices reduce?

2 Will Tony Abbott reverse the compensation package when he repeals the tax as it is now unnecessary?



More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-11, 03:22 PM
P1 "Well we both did our dough in the second leg of the BIG 6."

P2 "Doesn't matter to me."

P1 "Why not?"

P2 "EFK told me if I post my selections on the forum I can write off the cost of the ticket against the advertising budget."

P1 "He didn't tell me that."

P2 "Maybe I'm his snowy-haired boy."

P1 "Grrrr."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-14, 08:49 PM
P1 "Hi, Mrs EFK, what brings you here?

Mrs EFK.

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-14, 08:59 PM
Mrs EFK "And P1"

P1 "Yes, ma'am."

Mrs EFK " Your cigar stinks."

P1 "Yes ma'am."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-19, 06:49 PM
EFK's Office June 20.

EFK "P1, the Chairman has asked me to resolve one of the most important problems confronting Tabcorp before I leave.

P1 "Being?"

EFK "Being this problem you have with P2. What is it?"

P1 "Nothing."

EFK "Come on P1, tell Elmo."

P1 "Well, it's the forum. I joined ages ago and, when I started splashing Tabcorp money around like Perce Galea after    Eskimo Prince won the AJC Derby, all those on the forum thought I was wonderful.
 And then P2 joined and they asked him all the easy questions and had me chasing up all the answers to the difficult ones.
 Now they all love him and not me.

EFK "Mmmm."

P1 "So you agree?"

EFK "Not necessarily."

P1 "Then why the 'Mmmm'?"

EFK "It's because these coconut macaroons that P2 gave me are so nice."

P1 "So, you do agree with what I said?"

EFK "No."

P1 "With what have I said do you disagree?"

EFK " It was following the Golden Slipper when Perce threw his money about."

P1 "Grrrrr."
 

Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Jun-20, 12:29 AM
  :lol:  :clap2:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-22, 08:52 PM
EFK's Office 23 June

EFK " Okay, I've now got you both here, we have to resolve this: I've got $5.5 riding on it. P2, what problems do you have with P1?"

P2 "None, sir."

EFK "P1, yours with P2?"

P1 " Well, the forum...."

EFK " I've addressed that, if you read the 'Tabcorp' thread you'll see that P2 is starting to address those difficult questions, as I've directed."

EFK "What else?"

P1 "Those."

EFK "What, my gold fountain pen and gold biro?"

PI "No, those."

EFK " The coconut macaroons."

P1 "Yes, why does he keep giving them to you?"

P2 " Beause I like them, and want to know whether EFK likes them."

P1 "Well, I like shampooing my dick in the shower each morning. Does that mean I should hoof it over to EFK's place to see whether he also likes it?"

P2 " You're a sicko, P1."

EFK "Okay, boys, that's enough for today."


  
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-25, 07:55 PM
If there's one sight that excites more than that of a winner on raceday it is the vision splendid of a tight, cute little  bum of a female jockey, jutting upwards, as she endeavours to restrain her mount after the winning post.

It is my melancholy duty to inform you that Lisa Cropp's looks more like Damien Oliver's that Michelle Payne's.


More later


JWH (AO)


 
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jun-28, 09:33 PM
Tabcorp canteen June 29

EFK " P1 and P2 I see you have brought some of the favoured forumites to this my first farewell function."

P1 "EFK, I'd like you to meet DoubleDee.

EFK " Welcome DoubleDee. You can leave that bag over there, it will be perfectly safe. I see you have great concerns for its safety."

DD "Thank you, EFK, it contains my collection of apostrophes. Due to wanton misuse by those on the forum I fear for their safety."

EFK "And you are?"

Forumite "j.r.b"

EFK "Pleased to meet you j.r.b, it's been a glorious weather today, hasn't it?"

silence
 

EFK "I said, it's been glorious weather today."

DoubleDee "Umm, EFK, j.r.b doesn't proffer opinions: he provides facts. I suggest you rephrase."

EFK "j.r.b, what was the maximum temperature today?"

j.r.b "23.735 degrees Celsius."

EFK " And I know you are from the motif on your t-shirt 'Pommy Racing Rulz, OK!' Hi Authorized."

EFK "And you must be Vo Rogue."

Vo "There's another placegetter paying $1.00"

EFK "Pardon?"

Vo "And another"

EFK " Vo?"

Vo "And there's another."

EFK "Enjoy."

EFK " And you must be Christopher Monckton, the third Viscount Monckton of Brenchley: I'd recognise your opinions anywhere"

Forumite " No, I'm PoisonPen7"

EFK "The similarity is remarkable"

EFK "Okay, let's eat."

P2 "Great, the coconut macaroons are over here."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-01, 09:04 PM
Tabcorp canteen July 4th

EFK "P1 and P2 that first farewell function was great, let's hope this the second one is as well, who's this over here?"

P2 "Gratlog, sir."

EFK " Gratlog, great that you could make it."

Gratlog "First I was coming, and then I wasn't, and then I was, and then I wasn't, and then I was,
 and then I wasn't, and then I was, and then I wasn't...

EFK " Well, you're here now."

Gratlog "Am I?"

EFK " And P2, who do we have here?"

P2 "EFK, please meet Arsenal."

EFK "Arsenal, pleased to meet you, how are you tonight?"

silence

EFK "I said, how are you tonight?"

P2 "Sir, you won't get anything from Arsenal tonight."

EFK "Oh, why not?"

P2 "Because he doesn't his copy of the Courier Mail with him."

EFK " And who's that over there?"

Forumite "I hate Abos, I hate Muslims, I hate Socialists, I hate compassion, I hate everyone who doesn't agree with me, I hate...."

EFK "P2, who the hell is he?" 

P2 "We tried to lose him, but he had his own cab."

EFK "Get Security to kick him out."

P2 "Yes, sir."

EFK "What's to eat?"

P2 "Coconut macaroons."



Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Jul-01, 11:34 PM
Next time you are eaves dropping on EFK, interupt him and tell him Authorized said he is a hopeless prick.
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-02, 07:49 AM
Next time you are eaves dropping on EFK, interupt him and tell him Authorized said he is a hopeless prick.


Ring Ring

EFK "EFK"

JWH "EFK, sorry to interupt, but I've a message for you."

EFK "Yes JWH, what is it?"

JWH "Authorised said he is a hopeless prick."

EFK "Well who am I to disagree?"

JWH "Bye."

EFK "Bye."
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: El Dufus on 2011-Jul-02, 09:11 AM
The funniest thread I have read!!

  :biggrin:   :biggrin:   :biggrin:  8-)
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-03, 12:20 PM
Tabcorp Canteen July 4th.

EFK "P1, these farewell functions are great, but it's a pity that P2 couldn't make it to this our third. Do we have a forumite here today?"

P1 "Yes, he's over there."

EFK "What's that with him?"

P1 "an abacus."

EFK "What's he doing?"

P1 "Let's go closer"

Formite "$1.50 plus $3.10 equals $4.60 plus $2.80 equals $7.90, no it doesn't it equals $7.40 plus $1.60 equals $10.60 no it doesn't.....I'll start again.
    
    "$1.50 plus $3.10 equals $4.60 plus $2.80 equals $7.40 plus $1.60 equals $9.00...shit, I'm looking at Gulargambone and we're tipping at  Gympie.

    $6.20 plus $3.50 equals $9.70......

EFK "Who is he?"

P1 "Specialweek."

EFK "What's he doing?"

P1 "Working out the scores for the New Midweek Comp."

EFK "That's the comp we sponsor."

P1 "No, we don't sponsor that comp."

EFK "Why not?"

P1 "It's a long story: I'll tell you later. Come on let's eat."

EFK "What are we having?"

P1 "Date scones."

EFK "Why date scones?"

P1 "To remind you of P2."
  


  
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-05, 08:52 PM
EFK's office July 6th

ring ring
P1 "P1"

EFK "P1, it's EFK, can you come to my office: I want to talk about why we don't sponsor the New Midweek Comp."

P1 "Can't now, EFK, I'm helping P2 clean out his desk."

EFK "What? Has P2 been sacked without my knowledge."

P1 " No, sir."

EFK "Has he been rissoled,  :censored: d, outplaced, given the flick, given the shove, dismissed, told to pursue other opportunities, told to spend more time with his family, had his department rightsized, or had his department downsized?"

P1 " No sir, I'm helping him clean out his desk because of the coconut macaroons."

EFK "I love them."

PI "Well, he's got dozens of bags of them in his desk...."

EFK "Great."

P1 "And all of them have mice droppings in them."

EFK "Even those..."

P1 "Yes, sir"

EFK "Even those that contained the ones he gave me, and the forumites and those I took home to Mrs EFK?"

P1 "Yes, sir."

EFK "Bluuuuuur."

 
     
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-Jul-06, 09:09 AM
  :lol:  

Moderators if you get a "report to moderator message" from me in regard this discussion please ignore. I was laughing so hard I accidentally clicked on the wrong button.  :lol:   :lol:
Title: Follow JHW -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-07, 01:59 PM
EFK's Office July 8th

P2 "efk, I just want to say……."

EFK "P2, let's forget it, I never dwell on past misfortunes."

P2 "what a capital idea."

EFK "Speaking of capital ideas, I note that you are quite sparing in your use of capitals in your letters, emails, inter-company memoranda and telexes."

P2 "What does 'sparing in your use of ' mean?"

EFK "It means you don't  :censored: ing use them. Here, have a look at this letter to see when they should be used."

P2 " It looks like a Nigerian scam letter."

EFK " Sort of. It is a letter soliciting $58 for me to participate in the July Place Challenge. That aside, see how each sentence
      begins with a capital as do proper nouns."

P2 " Oh, right. And one more question."

EFK "Shoot."

P2 "Are telexes still used?"

EFK " I hope so,  just last week I paid JohnWesleyHarding $500 for a brand new top-of-the-range Olivetti telex machine.
        And it came with a five year warranty."

P2 "I think I've got some telex paper rolls in my bottom drawer."

EFK "Let's not go there, P2."

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-09, 09:14 PM
I have yet to reach a decision about how I feel about the difficulties with which Rupert Murdoch is confronted.



More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-12, 02:08 PM
EFK " Well it's another  farewell function P1 and I see you have a forumite with you.  Please do the intros.

P1 "EFK, meet Bubbasmith."

EFK " Bubbasmith pleased to meet you. How are you?"

Bubba " I'm not telling you."

EFK "Why not?"

Bubba "Because you'd then know as much as I do."

EFK " Are you having a bet today?"

Bubba "Yes I am."

EFK "How about a tip?"

Bubba " Would you back it?"

EFK "That's the general idea."

Bubba " Well then, NO."

EFK "If you're not going to give advice would you like to ask for some?"

Bubba "Yes, I would."

EFK "Shoot."

Bubba " What's the Courier Mail's price on No3 Race 4 at Kalgoorlie today?"

EFK "Aha, so that's what you're backing."

Bubba "Certainly not."

EFK "Then why on earth would you want a Brisbane rag's guess at the market on a maiden at Kalgoorlie."

Bubba "It's complicated."

EFK "That's not the only thing that's complicated, Bubba."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-16, 09:50 AM
I like Race 1 No 2 today.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-20, 11:39 AM
EFK "Thanks for putting on another farewell function for me, P1."

P1 "EFK, when do you leave the company's employ?"

EFK "I leave when JohnWesleyHarding says I leave."

P1 "Okay, then please meet The Carnegie Express."

EFK "Pleased to meet you CE, how are things going?"

CE "In my considered judgement, given the rather propitious nature of current polling, the great Liberal Party of Australia, last led to  electoral victory by the magnificent, the glorious, the man who has been the object of some of my finest erections, John Winston Howard, will finally once again assume government of our nation at the next election."

EFK "Pardon?"

CE "In my considered..."

EFK "Never mind. P1 please call my driver-I'm taking an early mark."

P1 "Yes sir."

EFK "And P1?"

P1 "Yes sir?"

EFK "Remember we don't serve alcohol to minors on company premises."

P1 "Yes sir."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-25, 09:07 PM
The Norwegian massacre should be a wake-up call to some.

To Conservative right wing politicians, shock-jocks, journalists, opinion writers, bloggers etc.

Demonising people due to their ethnicity, religion or colour can lead to actions that they don't envisage when they embark on their hysterical journey.



More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: chuggers on 2011-Jul-25, 09:23 PM
The Norwegian massacre should be a wake-up call to some.

To Conservative right wing politicians, shock-jocks, journalists, opinion writers, bloggers etc.

Demonising people due to their ethnicity, religion or colour can lead to actions that they don't envisage when they embark on their hysterical journey.



More later

JWH (AO)

JWH,

You worry me in your post--in that what you think---the fella is mad as a hatter---what that has got to do with left/right wing polictics.

 :beer:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Jul-25, 09:39 PM
If people are at either extreme they are dangerous far left and far right are both dangerous.

This bloke happened to be a far right wing christian fundamentalist fruitloop.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2011-Jul-26, 12:02 AM
If people are at either extreme they are dangerous far left and far right are both dangerous.

This bloke happened to be a far right wing christian fundamentalist fruitloop.



Thank god you brought some balance to a ridiculous initial post.

This is no different from putting the blame on heavy metal rock bands, sex education at school, the internet, sugary foods or prescription medications. But trying to score points against radio presenters or politicians out of a tragedy of complete madness is grandstanding and quite surprising. You judge the people you list for making sweeping generalisations and demonising others and yet you give a perfect example of it in the same paragraph.

You then make another generlisation about hysterical journeys when you are at the beginning of one yourself with this line of thinking. I know some right-wing politicians who just believe in conservative economic policy. Do they have the blood of the Norwegian Mass Murderer on their hands too? How do you feel about the Greens stance on the Jews? Divisive at all?

What about the far left hippies of mother nature that let their kids die because they don't believe in modern medicine? I think they all vote Green so the Greens need a wake up call.

Absolutely kidding yourself.  emthdown
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-Jul-26, 08:27 AM
The Norwegian massacre should be a wake-up call to some.

To Conservative right wing politicians, shock-jocks, journalists, opinion writers, bloggers etc.

Demonising people due to their ethnicity, religion or colour can lead to actions that they don't envisage when they embark on their hysterical journey.



More later

JWH (AO)


Spot on JWH  emthup

How about the guy who asked Joe Hockey if they should take up arms against the government?

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-Jul-26, 08:58 AM
Thank god you brought some balance to a ridiculous initial post.

This is no different from putting the blame on heavy metal rock bands, sex education at school, the internet, sugary foods or prescription medications. But trying to score points against radio presenters or politicians out of a tragedy of complete madness is grandstanding and quite surprising. You judge the people you list for making sweeping generalisations and demonising others and yet you give a perfect example of it in the same paragraph.

You then make another generlisation about hysterical journeys when you are at the beginning of one yourself with this line of thinking. I know some right-wing politicians who just believe in conservative economic policy. Do they have the blood of the Norwegian Mass Murderer on their hands too? How do you feel about the Greens stance on the Jews? Divisive at all?

What about the far left hippies of mother nature that let their kids die because they don't believe in modern medicine? I think they all vote Green so the Greens need a wake up call.

Absolutely kidding yourself.  emthdown


No wonder i feel like slapping myself the more I read this forum. :slaphead:


Of course JWH would be against extremes on both sides. If you haven't gleemed that from his previous posts I doubt you ever will.

JWH is talking about the issue which is engulfing Australia now.

We will always have "shock jocks" who will cater to extremes but we have never had (as long as I have been alive) an opposition leader who gives credibility to these extreme factions before. He does this by refusing to distance himself from them or by failing to denounce their actions/views.

The problem with this is that it gives the "extreme factions" a sense of credibility or a feeling that "their time" has come. This can lead to actions we cannot comprehend.


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2011-Jul-26, 09:26 AM
All you and Geoff have done Winner is put one group of people together and blamed them for something horrific.

The fact that you don't see what is wrong with that,  if you believe so completely in what Geoff wrote, means that you probably aren't slapping yourself hard enough.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Jul-26, 11:25 AM
World, You would have to admit, Far right wingers get far more air time in the Australian and US press than their left wing fruitloop counterparts.

There is no doubt right wing politicians got the blame for the Arizona Gabrielle Giffords tragedy, their rhetoric was  very much to blame. And the same can be said for this massacre. The fruitloop actually came from a political party that believes in his fanatical and crazy hatreds.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Jul-30, 07:25 PM
Glad to see someone reads my offerings.  :blush:

Mike Carlton SMH Today


The man might well be insane, as his lawyer claims, but he was not stupid. Nor ignorant. His 1500-page diatribe, grandly titled "A European Declaration of Independence'', written in literate English and emailed to right-wing hate groups around the world, appears to have been a closely argued thesis demanding the extermination of Islam, multiculturalism and Marxism. It was studded with quotations from heroes of the political right including - astoundingly - our very own John Howard, Peter Costello, Cardinal George Pell and the Sydney Marxist-turned-High Tory academic, Keith Windschuttle. Breivik had done his reading.

His words and actions were a seamless, linear progression of right-wing rage and loathing. At one end, you start with the anger and paranoia fomented by rightist politicians, demagogues and commentators for their own cynical political ends, the bigotry and racism that is daily grist to the talkback radio mill.

At the other end is a clear-eyed fanatic with tonnes of fertiliser, automatic weapons and an ubermensch mission to save the world. The dots join up.

The temperature of hatred has been rising in Australia for most of this year. Lately we've reached critical mass, with public calls for the murder of Julia Gillard and senior ministers.

I can hardly believe I have just written such a shocking sentence, but it happens to be true.

Joe Hockey was asked at a carbon tax forum in Queensland a few weeks ago what the Opposition would do to prevent concerned citizens taking up arms against the Gillard government. Alan Jones has suggested the Prime Minister and Bob Brown should be drowned at sea.

The website of Murdoch's Melbourne Herald Sun recently carried a reader post saying that "someone needs to assassinate Julia Gillard NOW before she totally destroys our way of life". Last week the Chris Smith afternoon program on 2GB broadcast a listener call demanding the same thing. Smith murmured that "no, we don't want any of that", but allowed the filth to go to air.

Asked to explain why the call had not been dumped on the seven-second delay system, 2GB's program director, Ian Holland, said the producer had been distracted while preparing for another interview.

Codswallop. Utter rubbish. Sorry, but I know how this works. Both Smith and his panel operator have a kill button, as it's called, right in front of them, within easy reach. Seven seconds allows plenty of time to cut off an offensive call before it gets to air, whether the producer is busy or not. They clearly chose not do to do so, thereby placing the radio station in flagrant breach of both the law and the rules laid down by the Australian Communications and Media Authority.

The very first clause of ACMA's commercial radio Code of Practice states: "A licensee must not broadcast a program which, in all of the circumstances, is likely to incite, encourage or present for its own sake violence or brutality."

That clause then says there must be nothing "likely to incite hatred against, or serious contempt for, or severe ridicule of, any person or group of persons because of age, ethnicity, nationality, race, gender, sexual preferences, religion, transgender status or disability."

2GB has form on this, and plenty of it. In January 2007, ACMA found that an evening shock jock, Brian Wilshire, had said that Lebanese people were inbred, with low IQs. He was rapped lightly across the knuckles.

2GB also whipped up hatred during the 2005 Cronulla riots, with ACMA finding - 16 months later - that three broadcasts by Alan Jones had been "likely to encourage violence or brutality and to vilify people of Lebanese and Middle Eastern backgrounds on the basis of ethnicity''.

Those emissions included Jones's call for bikie gangs to be at Cronulla railway station "when these Lebanese thugs arrive," and the notorious "we don't have Anglo-Saxon kids out there raping women in western Sydney''.

ACMA has the power to take an offending shock jock off air, and to fine, suspend or even shut down a radio station that breaks the rules.

If calls for the assassination of the Prime Minister aren't enough to get ACMA to act, you wonder what would be . So far we haven't seen 2GB or its on-air hate mongers cop even the usual feeble slap with a wet lettuce leaf.



More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Sep-12, 06:32 PM
Knock knock knock

Kylie (opening door) "JohnWesleyharding, you've got a hide. After all these months and you turn up with roses, chocolates and a bottle of Dom.  If you think I'm up or a bit of slap and tickle you've got another think coming.

JWH "You misjudge me, Kylie."

Kylie " Well then what do you want?"

JWH "Intromission"

Kylie "Oh okay, come in."

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Sep-18, 07:53 AM
Have Rugby League referee Matt Cecchin and jockey Michael Rodd ever been seen together?


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Sep-18, 08:40 AM
This 2011 Rugby Union World Cup now appears very likely to prove what I've always felt to be an anomaly with these "pools" being played in sporting events.

Because Australia (a world ranking top four team) is beaten in a pool game it is highly likely that it meets another top four ranked team (South Africa) in a quarter final.

It's not right, it's unfair.

Not on Australia but on the winner of the other pool (Soth Africa) which now has to meet a top four ranked team.

And the team that is unfairly advantaged is the second placed team of the South Afican pool (Samoa or Wales) which, due to nothing they have done, meet a very beatable Ireland in their quarter final rather than the one they should meet on rankings.

This comp is supposed to prove which team is the World Champion.

It doesn't.


More later

JWH (AO) 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Skybeau on 2011-Sep-18, 08:53 AM
Australia should have beaten Ireland, if they were a top 4 ranked team.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Oct-01, 09:43 AM
At Mornington today there are two races from which numbers

1
2
3
4
5
and 7

have been scratched.


More later

JWH (AO)


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Oct-16, 12:03 PM
I don't want to fill up DoubleDee's blog with crap so I'll post this here.

Mono wrote this there

monologue
Group 2
user 200
 Online
Posts: 4668

"Other than that I was giving my delicate stomach a beer free weekend after consuming copious amounts of anti biotics during the week."

Mono
Apparently (per QI) unless you are being treated for syphilis there is no reason to not drink if you are taking antibiotics.
(better check with your doctor, and others if the advice is not acceptable)

PS
In my first sentence I should have said "more crap".
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Oct-16, 12:06 PM
.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2011-Oct-16, 12:11 PM
Fair call JWS but you not being  fully aware of my  medical condition  I thought that statement from you was rather presumptious.

Maybe you should stick to what you know and not pretend to offer untrained medical opinion :)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2011-Oct-16, 12:15 PM
I don't want to fill up DoubleDee's blog with crap so I'll post this here.

Mono wrote this there

monologue
Group 2
user 200
 Online
Posts: 4668

"Other than that I was giving my delicate stomach a beer free weekend after consuming copious amounts of anti biotics during the week."

Mono
Apparently (per QI) unless you are being treated for syphilis there is no reason to not drink if you are taking antibiotics.
(better check with your doctor, and others if the advice is not acceptable)

PS
In my first sentence I should have said "more crap".

I've just phoned him and he said come around for a drink so we can discuss it.  :beer:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Oct-23, 02:40 PM
This morning, whilst perusing the fields for Sale, I saw that Ms Joan Pracey from Hawkesbury had her horse Upstaker in the 6th to be ridden by the top hoop Michael Rodd. I wondered why she would go all the way from Hawkesbury to a Melbourne provincial meeting.

All was revealed when I realised it was an Inglis bonus race.

Following a nice upstacking front-running ride by Michael Rodd, Upstacker duly saluted.

Rodd explained his participation by telling TVN the audience that he visited Pracey's stables at Hawkesbury before he had his first race ride.

The charming and attractive Pracey (possessor of a lovely smile) in her interview graciously thanked her Melbourne hosts and her work riders who she named.

A nice racing moment.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Oct-28, 07:31 PM
P1 "P2"

P2 "Yes mate?"

P1 "I've been down in the basement and something's missing".

P2 "What?"

P1 That old decommissioned computer system."

P2 "That's sad. It has such sentimental value. Some here have fond memories of changing the valves, tubes and bulbs before the Cup so it wouldn't conk out on the important day.

P2 "I wonder what happened to it."

P1 "I'm told EFK took it with him when he moved to the Australian Securities Exchange."
 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Nov-07, 07:15 PM
Are you interested in the A-League soccer table?

No?

Well what follows won't interest you, you might as well leave.

Would you like to see the for/against in the table?

No, Goal differences are enough?

Well, you might as well leave now too.

So who is still with me?

No one obviously, as I haven't been able to find a site or newspaper which shows the for and against. No one is interested. Well I am.

I wonder why this information is being suppressed.

More later

JWH (AO)
 

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: sobig on 2011-Nov-07, 08:40 PM
JWH

 I do not normally sing the praises of the rag that is the West Australian

but you would be pleased to know they publish the table with for and against included.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: PoisonPen7 on 2011-Nov-08, 08:38 AM
I was watching UK Mastermind yesterday and a slightly framed bespectacled gentleman steps into the chair. - probably aged 50-60.

"...and what is your specialty?".

"Bob Dylan".

"Thank you, and your questions start now".

(can't remember most of them)

Q. What album did Dylan release when he came out of retirement following a motorcycle accident in  the late 60's
Q. What political event inspired the song "A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall"
Q. What movie was the song "Lay Lady Lay" written for, even though it was too late to be included in the move
Q. On the Album Highway 61 Revisited, Dylan is credited with playing Guitar, Harmonica, Banjo and what other instrument

He finished with 14 points, and that was enough to put him 2nd after the first round behind the Indian guy whose speciatly was Asterix  :what:

Unfortunately, his General Knowledge was poor, and both he and Asterix boy were overtaken by a woman whose specialty was Coronation Street!
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Nov-13, 07:25 PM
I have only now realised my return from the New Midweek Comp on the 28 Oct was

0, zero, nothing, zilch, nihil.

In the fine tradition of Australian sportsmen, following such a result, I have decided to only post to this forum when I'm nude.

This is for the next fortnight.

Should anyone want webcam access please PM me.


JWH (AO)

More later.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Nov-16, 01:22 PM
The list, the length of which would make Dame Nellie blush, is soon to be completed

We've had

The last match for Queensland
The last match in Queensland
The last match for the Broncos
The last match against NSW
The last match in NSW
The last match in Melbourne
The last match against New Zealand
The last match at ANZ
The last match at the SCG
The last match in green undies

and each match followed by the same questions nad answers.

This week sees his last match.

Unless he's coaxed  out of retirement for just one more year.

In which case it will all start again next September


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: usernametaken on 2011-Nov-16, 03:21 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Nov-18, 01:58 PM
Should anyone want webcam access please PM me.

An update for anyone interested

Requests for access by male members...oops better re-phrase
Male forumites     56
Female forumites    3
Indeterminates      2

More later

JWH (AO)           
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Nov-24, 07:08 PM
For some reason or other about 85% of the time I want to type "from" I inadvertently type "form".

It probably has something to do with something deep in my subconscious.


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: arakaan on 2011-Nov-26, 10:17 PM
nice moves JWH

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Nov-28, 07:48 PM
P1 "Sir?"

David Attenborough "Yes P1?"

P1 "I can't stand it any longer."

DA "What, P1?"

P1 "I've been watching you on tele ever since I was a kid, and you are nothing like what I expected."

DA "So what are you going to do, tend to the baboons in Africa?"

P1 "No. DA."

DA "Then where?"

P1 "At the Australian Turf Club."

DA "Good luck, son."

P1 "Thanks, DA."



Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Dec-04, 07:27 AM
When a bank decides to provide an ATM it should be obliged to provide two ATMs at that location.

One for customers who remember their pin numbers and who have enough money in the account to satisfy their withdrawal request

and

One for customers who have forgotten their pin number and/or have three or four accounts none of which have enough money in them to satisfy the desired withdrawal request.

 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2011-Dec-05, 11:22 AM
.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2011-Dec-05, 11:42 AM
How about an extra ATM for those that have to print out their balance before withdrawing money? or maybe they come under the second category?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Dec-11, 02:19 PM
Yesterday I went on a family barbeque picnic.

In contravention of accepted eating etiquette principles I paused mid mouthful, sausage on fork raised, to make a thoughtful contribution to the topic being discussed.

I heard, and felt, a whoosh at my left ear. Looking skywards I saw kookaburra, sausage in beak, circling back to his mate in the tree behind us.

He'd taken the sausage from my fork as clean as a whistle. My fork hadn't moved, I hadn't felt a thing other than wing on ear.

I reckon I know the subject of the laughing in the tree five minutes later.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2011-Dec-24, 08:37 PM
The thing I hate about Christmas is the presents, not the ones I received, the ones I have to give.

It's not the money, it's the need to actually think what to buy and going and buying them.

Thankfully I'm able to delegate all but three. For those I try for a job lot arrangement.

And then it's down to something I reaaly do resent paying top $$$ for: the wrapping paper.

So I go to the $2 Shop. (Don't tell anyone).

That I did today.

After securing the said commodity for $2 (price at DJs $10) I made for the exit where I was asked to open my bag.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"Can you please open your bag, sir?"

"Why?"

"It's the law"

"The what?"

"The law."

"You think I've been shoplifting?"

"Please sir, the bag."

"Let me tell me something for nothing son, if I ever take up shoplifting the very last place will be in a $2 shop."

"Yes sir, may I look in your bag?"


More later

JWH (AO)











Oh, and the answer for the smart alecs is ....no.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Jan-06, 07:34 AM
Chairman "Well son, you've really  :censored: ed up."

Marketing Manager "How was I to know, I know marketing not cricket."

C "How much did Shaun Marsh cost?"

MM "Heaps, but not as much as what the other bloke wanted."

C "What exposure did we get from Marsh?"

MM "Including walking to the wicket and back to the sheds?

C "Yes, all up."

MM "Four minutes."

C "Well Clarke was there for 609 minutes, hit 39 fours and a six, raised his bat to the crowd at 50, at 100, at 150, at 200, at 250, at 300 and  when he left unconquered. And there was not a skerrick of our advertising on his bat"

MM "Think of the money we saved."

C "Close the door on the way out."   
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Jan-26, 05:47 PM
It would be a great name for a wine taster, or a beer sampler,

But

How can a bloke with the moniker "Newt" be seriously considered as the president of the United States of America?


More later

JHW (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Skybeau on 2012-Jan-26, 06:02 PM
What about Mitt the opponent?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Jan-26, 06:15 PM
Yes, maybe a baseball team owner but not POTUS.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Feb-13, 07:54 PM
I'm heterosexual.

I've just read the latest edition of Penthouse and thought I'd tell everyone.

Why on earth would Matt Checchin think that telling me he's gay, after him reading Ian Roberts' autobiography, would interest me?

I don't care whether he's gay, sad, black, blue, brindle or a mod of this forum.

I just want him to referee Rugby League matches with a consistent interpretation of the laws of the game.

Why would he think I have the slightest interest in his sexual proclivity?


More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2012-Feb-13, 08:04 PM
I'm heterosexual.

I've just read the latest edition of Penthouse and thought I'd tell everyone.

Why on earth would Matt Checchin think that telling me he's gay, after him reading Ian Roberts' autobiography, would interest me?

I don't care whether he's gay, sad, black, blue, brindle or a mod of this forum.

I just want him to referee Rugby League matches with a consistent interpretation of the laws of the game.

Why would he think I have the slightest interest in his sexual proclivity?


More later

JWH (AO)



I'd be very interested if he was brindle.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Feb-29, 08:15 PM
Napoleon survives.

He is within us.



More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Mar-04, 06:55 PM
David Attenborough "P2, I've had Bubba on the blower."

P2 "Oh, that pest, what did he want?"

DA "He wanted you to fix the link of the racing form on the Telegraph website."

P2 "That's impossible.'

DA "Why?"

P2 "P1 couldn't do it."

DA " Who's P1?"

P2 "EFK's snowy-haired boy."

DA "Never heard of either of them."

P2 "Heard of evolution?"

DA "Of course, I made my name making television docos on it."

P2 "Well they are earlier primates of this land of Tabcorp."

DA "Well, if you don't want to be the next extinct primate, do something about Bubba's complaint."

P2 (thinking) "Bloody Bubba, why doesn't he just bloody well part with a bloody $1 and buy his bloody copy of it like everyone else bloody well has to?"
 
Title: Bugger!!!!
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Apr-11, 07:51 PM
I wanted to buy some clothes, watches, kitchenware, shoes and I had promised  my nurse Kylie some sexy underwear and a wedding dress.

But alas, I'll now need to find them elsewhere, given the deletion of the threads.

When I suggested some sexy underwear she was taken somewhat aback, asking wasn't she sexy enough without underwear (hubba, bubba).

It was only when I told her that the sexy underwear was for me when she took some interest. 
Title: Bugger!!!!
Post by: firezuki on 2012-Apr-12, 02:27 PM
Have you been drinking Geoffrey?
Title: Bugger!!!!
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Apr-12, 02:49 PM
Keep up with the peloton.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-May-20, 10:53 AM
One Sunday morning, about 20 years ago, as Sunday racing was beginning in Sydney I met an elderly friend who was a regular racegoer on Saturdays and churchgoer on Sundays.

She had her well-thumbed Missal in one hand and the Sunday paper turned to the racing formguide in the other.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, betting on the Sabbath" I ragged her.

"Oh, I'm having only one bet: on this." She  replied pointing to a horse's name in the guide.

I looked and saw that the horse she was backing was Genuflect.

"Go in peace, all is foregiven." I said gently laying my hand on her forehead.

I've thought of that meeting often over the years, particularly when I admire the naming acumen of that lady who names the Woodlands and Darley horses.

Genuflect was by Secret Blessing.

Her offspring included the well-performed Hosannah and others such as
Votive
Prayer
Cathedral
Veneration
Excommunicate
Cults
Worship
Cross

Hosannah's best was the stakes winner Altar.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I thought when I saw Darley's new kid on the block -Angelus- she must throw back to Genuflect.

She doesn't.

Well, that was a waste of a read. wasn't it? 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2012-May-20, 10:55 AM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-May-23, 09:16 PM
Ummm

Bloody hell, I can't remember what I was gunna say.

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H

Nah, it won't come to me.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-May-27, 11:04 AM
I see that the Mods believe my tread relating to what I think is a quite inappropriate naming of a horse by Roy Higgins ( Clinton Affair) deemed it Pointless and Off Topic.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Jun-02, 10:10 PM
If it's not bad enough that Souths get done: 45 minutes later Essendon goes down to Melbourne.

I suppose it's some consolation that Arsenal won't get beaten tonight.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Jul-03, 07:29 PM
How I hate this time of the year with :-

Wimbleton on

and Esseneton challenging for the flag.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Aug-11, 05:39 PM
Ring ring   
Authorized  "Come on, answer the bloody phone."

Tab      "Your call is important to us. All of our operators are currently unavailable, please stay on the line for the next available
      customer service operator"

15 minutes later
Authorized   "Hello"

Tab      "Your call is important to us. All of our operators are currently unavailable, please stay on the line for the next available
      customer service operator"

45 minutes later
Authorized   "Hello"

Tab      "Your call is important to us. All of our operators are currently unavailable, please stay on the line for the next available
      customer service operator"

One hour later
Authorized   "Hello"

Tab      "Your call is important to us. All of our operators are currently unavailable, please stay on the line for the next available
       customer service operator"

Two hours later
Authorized   "Hello"

Tab      "Hello"

Authorized   "Finally, I want to speak to someone about the stuff-up of my Multi bet

Tab      "You'll have to speak to a customer service operator."

Authorized   "Well, who are you?"

Tab      "The cleaner, I just saw the lights flashing."

Authorized   "Well, get me a customer service operator."

Tab      "We don't have any."

Authorized   "Where are they?"

Tab      "They were all sacked five years ago; the savings were needed to pay the executives' salaries."

Authorized   "Well, who's going to fix my problem?"

Tab      "I saw P2 around here somewhere, but he was trying to get tonight's Azerbaijan Guineas meeting on Sky2 for some forum member."

Authorized   :mad:   
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2012-Aug-11, 06:06 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Sep-09, 07:43 PM
I quite like this.



Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Sep-11, 08:47 PM
Ring ring

P2 "Hello"

P1 "P1 here, P2, how's it going?"

P2 " No good, I'm looking for the Cox Plate future's markets, but can't find them."

P1 "Have you looked everywhere?"

P2 "I've looked everywhere I can think of even under the cushions on the lounge."

P1 "Did you find them there?"

P2 " No, the only thing I found was a D-Cup bra, remember when I allowed you to crash here with Marge?'

P1 "That's in the past, what about getting EFK to help you find them?"

P2 "EFK left around the same time you did, the boss is now David Attenborough."

P1 "Well, he can't help, I hear he headed off to the Galapagos Islands when they found a family of one-eyed orangutans."

P2 " I'll just have to keep looking; I know, I haven't looked in the freezer yet."

P1 " Good luck, son."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Sep-12, 09:31 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

P1 "P2, P1 here"

P2  "G/day"

P1 "$3,000,000."

P2 "Yeah, I read. What did you get?"

P1 "You were there."

P2 "Remind me."

P1 " A farewell cake, and a nice push in the back."

P2 " Yeah, it ain't fair, mate. He gets $3,000,000 and I'm left with this "Flash" shit."

P1 "Yeah, mate."

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Sep-23, 03:46 PM
"Well son, how'd it go?

"Umm"

"Well give me an assessment"

"Umm"

"Cat got your tongue?"

"No, I've got two assessments."

"What's the first?"

"We should take it to a non-tab meeting."

"What's the other?"

"We should perss on to the Stradbroke."

"Do I pay you to assess races?"

"No"

"Good, because at least I'm getting what I pay for."

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2012-Sep-23, 07:38 PM
RS  well it ran 4th
JWH was i talkin to you  :whistle:
RS not sure but if the f  :censored: en trainer listened to me he would of run 3rd
JWH i think the rabbits ran 4th  :clap2:
RS well that makes me feel all warm and cosy  :rant:
JWH ffs why are you on my thread  :what:
RS couldn't find anywhere else to vent   :lol:

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Sep-26, 09:14 PM
David Attenborough "P2, how many this week?"

P2 "Ten."

DA "Ten of our customers have carked it this week while waiting for the new site to refresh?"

P2 "Yes."

DA "We haven't lost that many tortoises in the Galapogos since Charles Darwin was there."

P2 "Well, what are we going to do?"

DA "What would EFK, P1 and you have done?"

P2 "Gone to the pub."

DA "Okay, let's go."

P2 "Are you shouting?"

DA "Of course."

P2 "Great."

DA "Only the first one."

P2 " :mad:"
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-01, 10:26 AM
Ring ring
P2 "P2".

David Attenborough "P2, please come up to my office."

P2 "Right, Davey."

DA "Don't call me that."

3 minutes later
P2 "Yes, Atto?"

DA Don't call me that. I want a photo of a feather-nosed tit-fiddler."

P2 "What's that?"

DA "It's an endangered member of the Paridae family."

P2 "Right, I'll make some enquiries and get you one."

DA " I don't want it. I want you to hang it in the IT Department with a sign appended."

P2 "Saying what?"

DA "Saying 'This is an endangered species. But not as endangered as you  :censored: ers are if the new website doesn't stop attracting complaints'"

P2 "I'll get right onto it."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-10, 08:02 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

David Attenborough "Atto here, P2"

DA "P2"

DA "P2"

DA "P2"

DA "P2"

DA "P2"

DA "P2"

DA "P2"

DA "P2"

P2 "Yes, sir?"

DA " Where the hell have you've been?"

P2 "I heard you but I couldn't answer."

DA "Why not? And this better be good otherwise you'll be as endangered as a feather-fingered fanny-fiddler."

P2 "The IT guys have aligned the response time of our phone system with that of our website."

DA " :mad:"
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-11, 07:19 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

P1 "P2, it's P1"

P2 "P1, what can I do for you?

P1 "Have you guys got any of your sponsorship budget left after increasing the sponsorship of the forum's next comp to $4000?"

P2 "We've got heaps, you must know how much we sock away from roundings."

P1 "We've got a race at Rosehill which you could sponsor."

P2 "Great, have you got a dictionary handy?"

P1 "Yeah, what's the word?"

P2 "August"

P1 "It means venerable,eminent, respectable, dignified that sorta thing."

P2 "Well we'll sponsor the race if you call it the TAB August Stakes.

P1 "Done."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-11, 07:27 PM
Ring ring.

P1 "P1"

P2 "P1, it's P2"

P1 "Hi, P2, what's up?"

P2 "What's up? I see that race we agreed on is called the TAB Angst Stakes, it was agreed to call it the TAB August Stakes."

P1 "I made a management decision that we can't call a race in October as an August Stakes."

P2 "Do you still have that dictionary handy?"

P1 "Yes."

P2 "Well look up the meaning of Angst"

P1 "Hang on...how do you spell it?...shit... let's hope no one in the forum owns a dictionary."

P2 "Turfdeli does."

P1 " :mad:"
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-14, 06:27 PM
Ring ring

P1"Hello."

P2 "P2"

P1 "G'day."

P2 "How did it go?"

P1 "Seemed a success."

P2 "Did they have enough to eat?"

P1 "Yes, although I couldn't believe how messy some were. Their parents obviously didn't teach them any table manners."

P2 "Was there enough to drink?"

P1 "Yes, but some of course drank more then their share."

P2 "Were any photos taken?"

P1 "Yes, but a few of the porky ones wanted to be in all of the photos?'

P2 " Did you have trouble getting rid of them at the end of the day?"

P1 "Of course."

P2 "Will you be doing the same next year?"

P1 "No way, I told Mrs P1 the next time she organises Xmas in October for her daycare kids she can do all the work."

P2 "Fair enough."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-18, 07:04 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

P1 "P2, its P1"

P2 "Sorry mate, gotta go."

P1 "Why?"

P2 ""We've all just received an email from Atto which has sent shockwaves through the joint."

P1" What did he say?"

P2 " He said he was sick of trying to save endangered species."

P1 "Oh, he means those little furry things, and those big things that eat other things that they can no longer find."

P2 "No, he was talking about all of us here at Tabcorp."

P1 "What did he say?"

P2 "He said that any of us on over $200,000.."

P1 "That's all of you."

P2 "Yes, but anything over that it must be bet on horses for the place at a Queensland meeting."

P1 "Does he know what the rake and roundings does to those dividends?"

P2 " Yes, he says we don't know shit from clay about the form so the dividends for the successful punters will improve."

P1 " P2, gotta go."

P2 "Why?"

P1 "Gotta get onto DoubleDee's email listing."





 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-20, 01:58 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

Wily "It's Wily, P2"

P2 "Yes, Wily, what have you lost now?"

Wily "My false teeth."

P2 "Look in your mouth."

Wily "Oh yeah, I found them, thanks."

P2 "Any time Wily."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-30, 07:56 PM
When will Tony Abbott realise that this horse he's been flogging for months - Carbon Tax Scare - is dead.

Has been dead for some some.

As dead as a doornail.

He was publically euthanised when his full-brother - Carbon Pricing - aka Carbon Tax ( By Rudd/Turnbull x Gillard) proved that, after extensive use, the track known as Whyalla sustained no damage and will be fit for racing for years to come.


More later

JWH (AO)
 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2012-Oct-31, 05:59 PM
 :censored:  this holoween (?) shit off.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2012-Oct-31, 06:26 PM
Why does Halloween upset you so?

My kids just came back from having a great time trick or treating.

They also had a great time covering the house in cobwebs and spiders.  :)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2012-Oct-31, 06:33 PM
The constant interruptions.

I made sure I had plenty of sweets to give out but crikey it did not take long for it to wear thin.

Plus its American, who introduced it to Australia ?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2012-Oct-31, 06:45 PM
My guess is that it would have started with the lolly makers. I would like to know how much their sales spike around this time of the year.

If you are upset by the US influence why don't you start handing out Vegemite sandwiches.   :biggrin:  
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2012-Oct-31, 06:47 PM
Plus its American, who introduced it to Australia ?
I thought it started in Ireland ?.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2012-Oct-31, 07:33 PM
I thought it started in Ireland ?.




http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=halloween&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CCIQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FHalloween&ei=5fCQUKfdE6aQiQeHvIDIDg&usg=AFQjCNEBTHyX3R_k_pfyMQXg3DpnDseSYA
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Oct-31, 08:37 PM
Ummm

I think you guys are on the wrong thread.

This is an ABC-type thread.

I think you are looking for a 2GB-type one.

JWH (AO)

More later
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2012-Oct-31, 08:54 PM
Ummm
I think you guys are on the wrong thread.
:no: This is  My Favorite Alternative Twitter site   :biggrin:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-01, 07:23 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2'

David Attenborough "Atto here, P2- a question."

P2 "Yes, Atto?"

DA " What do you understand by the term 'Refresh'?"

P2 "I believe it is a female hygiene product."

DA "Exactly, every time I log into our new website it tells me -"Refresh", so I snaffle Mrs Atto's product, slip off my trousers, and spray."

P2 "And what happens?"

DA " Every bloke in the building tries to chat me up."

P2 "I'll talk to a techo and get back to you."



Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-03, 01:51 PM
Ring ring

Engaged.

Ring ring

Engaged.

Ring ring

Engaged.

Ring ring

Engaged.

Ring ring

Engaged.

Ring ring

Engaged.

Ring ring

Engaged.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2012-Nov-03, 01:58 PM
You %$#@ing @#*&er   :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2012-Nov-03, 02:01 PM
Maybe Porky is trying to get on.

And they are trying to decipher his bets.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-03, 07:29 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2".

David Attenborough "Well, you've answered."

P2 "I had diarrhoea."

DA "Pardon?"

P2 "That bloody Authorized has been onto you, carrying on like a pork chop about not being able to give us more of his money, hasn't he?"

DA "Yes"

P2 " Well, I had diarrhoea and took all the phones off the hook when I went to the loo."

DA "Fair enough."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-06, 07:26 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

David Attenborough "And?"

P2 "And what?"

DA "And whatt the  :censored:  happened today?"

P2 "Well, I woke at 8.30, threw the leg, had an orange juice followed by a plate of bacon and eggs and then..."

DA "Not that, what's with the new website?"

P2" We had a few problems."

DA "Have you a suggestion to resolve your problem?"

P2 "Yes."

DA "What is it?"

P2 "Well, P1 had me, and I need a P3 on the forum."

DA " :mad:" 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-07, 07:24 PM
Ring ring

P2 "P2"

David Attenborough "P2,tell the techos that if Oaks Day is a cock-up like Cup Day they will be as endangered as the Northern Quoll (Dasyurus hallucatus). You've no doubt heard of the Northern Quoll?

P2 "That's that obnoxious creature that infests Perth and annoys the hell out of taxi passengers."

DA " No, P2, that's the Western Troll, and from what I've heard it has too many protectors to be regarded as endangered."

P2 "We'll I'm off to the pub."

DA "What about my my advice to the techos?"
 
P2 "Given the new website, where do you think they spend their days?"

DA "Point taken."

 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2012-Nov-08, 04:46 AM
Always two rings before phone answered. Care to share that number you have?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-08, 07:13 PM
I tipped Green Moon to win the Cup and here is the proof from this extract of emails.

G/day Zel
 
Nice to hear from you.
 
Yes, big day tomorrow, and it looks the track will be beauty, Mike Goodie hates the penno and the numerical rating bullshit, so fingers crossed for a good outcome. 
 
The Cup looks as tough as an old boot. I'm in some first fours with some mates. But they're even harder to pick, as you can choose your mates but not your rellos.
 
As for the the winner, I'm hoping Green Moon might do better here than at the goat-track.
 
Hope those rebates are still rolling in, and that you have a nice day.

JWH

PS

jfc sends his regards.
 


----- Original Message -----
From: Zeljko
To: JWH
Sent: Monday, November 05, 2012 12:22 PM
Subject: The Cup

just to say g/day JWH, I've settled here for tomorrow on a comfortable chair, with booze, girls and a big screen and all I have to do is to find the winner of the Cup. If you know it please let me know cheers, Zel.


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2012-Nov-08, 09:29 PM
I tipped Green Moon to win the Cup and here is the proof from this extract of emails.

G/day Zel
 
Nice to hear from you.
 
Yes, big day tomorrow, and it looks the track will be beauty, Mike Goodie hates the penno and the numerical rating bullshit, so fingers crossed for a good outcome. 
 
The Cup looks as tough as an old boot. I'm in some first fours with some mates. But they're even harder to pick, as you can choose your mates but not your rellos.
 
As for the the winner, I'm hoping Green Moon might do better here than at the goat-track.
 
Hope those rebates are still rolling in, and that you have a nice day.

JWH

PS

jfc sends his regards.
 


----- Original Message -----
From: Zeljko
To: JWH
Sent: Monday, November 05, 2012 12:22 PM
Subject: The Cup

just to say g/day JWH, I've settled here for tomorrow on a comfortable chair, with booze, girls and a big screen and all I have to do is to find the winner of the Cup. If you know it please let me know cheers, Zel.


More later

JWH (AO)

as much as i hate it
  :lol:   :lol:   :lol:   :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-10, 07:01 PM
as much as i hate it

rat, dunno what you mean by that. :what:

Other than the admittedly rather immodest short preamble, I posted an exchange of emails between friends.

Can't see anything for a non-participant to generate "hate" about that.


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2012-Nov-10, 07:19 PM
rat, dunno what you mean by that. :what:

Other than the admittedly rather immodest short preamble, I posted an exchange of emails between friends.

Can't see anything for a non-participant to generate "hate" about that.




TWITTER
non-partcipant  :/
o well you called me strange at some stage  :chin:
maybe look in the mirror champ  8-)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2012-Nov-10, 08:02 PM
  :king:
can not find a cough symbol  :whistle:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-10, 08:16 PM
rat

I mean a non-participant in respect of the email exchange.

And I can't find evidence that I called you strange.

As far as I can see, I've always called you "rat" or "ratsack"
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2012-Nov-10, 08:24 PM
I have to say it, this thread just gets funnier.

The Green Moon tipping post is comedic genius.   :biggrin:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2012-Nov-10, 08:38 PM
ring ring
RS  "um JWH (AO) "
JWH  "yea mate"
RS " i like ya twitter account"
JWH(AO)  :chin:
RS "ok i will try and mirror you o master"
JWH (AO)  :chin:
RS "don't worry if i cant work me out you've got no hope"

ring ring P2 P2
  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-12, 07:47 PM
I thought of posting this on the general forum, but decided, due to the inappropriate language, it should only be shown to those who aren't offended by inappropriate crap: i.e. those of you who follow me on this twitter account.



 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2012-Nov-13, 02:21 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: worldisavampire on 2012-Nov-14, 03:32 PM
Put that on the Christmas Tape and I will cut your throat   :lol:   :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Nov-17, 04:28 PM
It was Sunday morning 11th June 1961 and champion racehorse trainer T J Smith was worried.

His mighty champion Tulloch was to compete in his last career start the next day in the Brisbane Cup.

Smith wasn't worried about the weight Tulloch was asked to carry over the two miles 9 stone 12lb (62.5kgs).

Smith wasn't worried about the weight Tulloch was asked to concede to Sharply, winner of the Sydney Cup. (10.0kgs)

He was worried about the rumour he's heard that Tulloch's jockey intended to "pull" his champion.

So Tommy decided to front George Moore and voice his concerns.

Smith visited Moore and asked him whether the rumour was true.

Moore didn't say a word. Just turned, crossed the room, and withdrew a stack of tickets from a drawer and handed them to Smith.

Betting tickets they were. Doubles tickets. Stradbroke into the Cup. Persian Lyric into Tulloch.

Smith left confident that George would be doing his best the next day.

The previous day George had piloted the 20/1 shot, Persian Lyric, to his Stradbroke win.

More later.

JWH (AO)


 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2012-Nov-17, 05:59 PM
  :lol:   love your style.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Dec-13, 07:03 PM
I've been searching for phrases
To sing my own praises

However I'll modestly copy a couple of quotes instead.

6th May 2012 re the "Slipper Affair"

"This could certainly blow up in the Coalition's face."

9th Oct 2009 re Nathan Tinkler

I'll tell you what, I wouldn't be buying shares in his joint for long term gains.


More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Walter Watermelon on 2012-Dec-13, 07:09 PM
I've been searching for phrases
To sing my own praises

However I'll modestly copy a couple of quotes instead.

6th May 2012 re the "Slipper Affair"

"This could certainly blow up in the Coalition's face."

9th Oct 2009 re Nathan Tinkler

I'll tell you what, I wouldn't be buying shares in his joint for long term gains.


More later

JWH (AO)



Not forgetting 1968-2012

"Glory, Glory to South Sydney"
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Dec-23, 11:13 AM
As a very special Christmas gift to my twitter followers I've decided to let you in on the secret to my punting success.

I work by a formula - One that was devised for me by a prominent mathematician some years ago.

I take the Track Condition + Distance + the square root of the horse's age
                     Weight

And divide the answer to that by the differential of the past performances raised to the 3rd power.


More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Dec-23, 11:17 AM
I have evidence of the success of this formula which I will reveal soon.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Racehorses on 2012-Dec-24, 01:29 PM
 :o :wacko:  any one who can work that out deserves to win   :yes:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2012-Dec-25, 06:14 AM
Spent part of Christmas Eve searching through my trunk of memorabilia looking for the evidence.

Found it.  Early on it might seem not, but it's there alright.

Merry Christmas. Hope you like this present.









Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jan-02, 07:51 PM
It's the day before the Third Test against Sri Lanka.

And everyone is looking forward to thanking Mike Hussey for his contribution to Australian cricket.

And wonder, given this new rotation practice, which fast bowler is to miss out.

Bloody hell, it's a dead rubber.

All fast bowlers deserve to play for their country, and really want to play in the future.

As an Australian cricket selector, I'd call Hussey and say:-

"Mate, you've been a great player, and your retirement has come as a shock to the selectors.
 
 But, not as big a shock as what I'm telling you.
 
 You're twelfth man for this Test.

 We decide who comes into this team and the circumstances in which they leave it.

 Make sure the water is chilled when you wheel it on at the first drinks' break."


More later

JWH (AO)



Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jan-23, 09:22 PM
BIG BOUNCING BREASTS.

Let me compose myself for a moment.




Okay, I'm right now.....

Since puberty I've been a fan.

Anyone who's been watching the Tennis on 7 knows that Berlei are trying to encourage women, so endowed, to wear sports bras to thwart the effect of gravity as the owners bounce up and down.

Trouble is the models used are, shall we say, inappropriate for the task at hand.


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jan-28, 09:01 AM
If I was given the task of choosing only twenty Dylan songs to listen to for the rest of my life I'd fit this one in somehere.

My thoughts turned to this song when making one of my selections for the day in the Weekday comp.

There is also a relevance due to the current flooding of the east coast of Queensland and northern NSW.

I often think of this song and Dylan's comment on how many of us either ignore the problems caused by devastating occurrences or quickly dismiss them.

http://vimeo.com/43691890

Up on the white veranda
She wears a necktie and a Panama hat.
Her passport shows a face
From another time and place
She looks nothin' like that.
And all the remnants of her recent past
Are scattered in the wild wind.
She walks across the marble floor
Where a voice from the gambling room is callin' her to come on in.
She smiles, walks the other way
As the last ship sails and the moon fades away
From Black Diamond Bay.

As the mornin' light breaks open, the Greek comes down
And he asks for a rope and a pen that will write.
"Pardon, monsieur," the desk clerk says,
Carefully removes his fez,
"Am I hearin' you right?"
And as the yellow fog is liftin'
The Greek is quickly headin' for the second floor.
She passes him on the spiral staircase
Thinkin' he's the Soviet Ambassador,
She starts to speak, but he walks away
As the storm clouds rise and the palm branches sway
On Black Diamond Bay.

A soldier sits beneath the fan
Doin' business with a tiny man who sells him a ring.
Lightning strikes, the lights blow out.
The desk clerk wakes and begins to shout,
"Can you see anything?"
Then the Greek appears on the second floor
In his bare feet with a rope around his neck,
While a loser in the gambling room lights up a candle,
Says, "Open up another deck."
But the dealer says, "Attendez-vous, s'il vous plait,''
As the rain beats down and the cranes fly away
From Black Diamond Bay.

The desk clerk heard the woman laugh
As he looked around the aftermath and the soldier got tough.
He tried to grab the woman's hand,
Said, "Here's a ring, it cost a grand."
She said, "That ain't enough."
Then she ran upstairs to pack her bags
While a horse-drawn taxi waited at the curb.
She passed the door that the Greek had locked,
Where a handwritten sign read, "Do Not Disturb."
She knocked upon it anyway
As the sun went down and the music did play
On Black Diamond Bay.

"I've got to talk to someone quick!"
But the Greek said, "Go away," and he kicked the chair to the floor.
He hung there from the chandelier.
She cried, "Help, there's danger near
Please open up the door!"
Then the volcano erupted
And the lava flowed down from the mountain high above.
The soldier and the tiny man were crouched in the corner
Thinking of forbidden love.
But the desk clerk said, "It happens every day,"
As the stars fell down and the fields burned away
On Black Diamond Bay.

As the island slowly sank
The loser finally broke the bank in the gambling room.
The dealer said, "It's too late now.
You can take your money, but I don't know how
You'll spend it in the tomb."
The tiny man bit the soldier's ear
As the floor caved in and the boiler in the basement blew,
While she's out on the balcony, where a stranger tells her,
"My darling, je vous aime beaucoup."
She sheds a tear and then begins to pray
As the fire burns on and the smoke drifts away
From Black Diamond Bay.

I was sittin' home alone one night in L.A.,
Watchin' old Cronkite on the seven o'clock news.
It seems there was an earthquake that
Left nothin' but a Panama hat
And a pair of old Greek shoes.
Didn't seem like much was happenin',
So I turned it off and went to grab another beer.
Seems like every time you turn around
There's another hard-luck story that you're gonna hear
And there's really nothin' anyone can say
And I never did plan to go anyway
To Black Diamond Bay

 
More later

JWH (AO)
 
 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: wily ole dog on 2013-Jan-28, 10:26 AM
So'what were the 20?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jan-28, 10:51 AM
There's over two hundred in my top 20.

But that one's a constant.

As is the version of Like a Rolling Stone from Bob Dylan Live 1966.




Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Feb-10, 08:49 AM
Caulfield was festooned with its banners.

The two two-year-old races bore its name.

If the sponsorship money has been paid, and the club was fulfilling its obligations, fair enough.

But if the club is expecting to be paid for this advertising:-

Tell'em they're dreamin'.


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2013-Feb-11, 01:58 PM
I quite like this.






Well done on the early grammy selection JWH!  emthup
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Feb-17, 12:06 PM
I'm going to keep an eye on the racing career of the unraced 2 year old Highlander.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Feb-17, 02:23 PM
I'm going to keep an eye on the racing career of the unraced 2 year old Highlander.



Think Wenona would be interested in keeping an eye on him.

Hopefully he earns a highend stud career.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Feb-20, 08:27 PM
Ring Ring

P1 "P1"

P2 "P1 its P2, are you going to the farewell?"

P1 "Whose?"

P2 "EFK's"

P1 "What, is he leaving the ASX?"

P2 "That's what I heard."

P1 "Hang on, I'll put you on hold and talk to my broker"

Ring Ring

Tom Waterhouse "Tom Waterhouse"

P1 "Tom, what odds have you got EFK leaving this week?"

TW "Who's EFK?

P1 "Elmer Funke Kupper"

TW "500/1"

P1 "I'll have $500 on that"

TW "Right, bye"

Clunk

P1 "P2, are you still there?"

P2 "Yes"

P1 "Where's the farewell?"

P2 "Broken Hill"

P1 "Why Broken Hill?"

P2 "That's where the the company began"

P1 "Oh my God P2, that's Marius Kloppers of BHP-Billiton not EFK"

P2 "I always get those two confused"

P1 "Thanks a lot P2 :mad:"


 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2013-Feb-20, 08:36 PM
  :lol:   :lol:   :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Mar-01, 08:49 PM
Ring ring

Peter Moody ""Peter Moody"

Neil Wherrett "Peter, Wherrett"

PM " "Oh Peter, I loved your motoring show Torque but I couldn't work out how you changed those 'four on the floor' gears so efficiently while you were wearing that favourite dress of yours."

NW "Pete, I'm not Peter Wherrett. I said 'Peter, Wherrett' as in 'Peter, it's Wherrett here'. I'm Neil not Peter. Didn't you hear the comma?"

PM "Sorry Neil, I'm under so much stress at the moment I don't know whether I'm Arthur or Martha."

NW "Pete, enough with the cross-dressing references, alright."

PM "Sorry."

NW "I know what's stressing you. It's this ridiculous campaign to prematurely retire our girl, Black Caviar, isn't it?"

PM " Well, yes."

NW "I'm here to tell you that I, we, want her to break the record of John McNair's fine sprinter."

PM "Hay List? She's done that already."

HW "No, Mustard's 105 starts."

PM " They're coming to take me away................."







Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Mar-10, 10:30 AM
Soccer is rather grandly termed The World Game.

However it’s not really a game: more an activity.

It is an activity where a bunch of blokes run around for 90 minutes with no apparent objective other than to not score a goal.

They are most proficient at that - like a row of experienced knitters who all are determined not to drop a stitch.

Although every now and then one of them screws up and does score a  goal. Then follows a childish practice of the scorer taking off his shirt and running around the field like a chook with its head chopped off until his team mates catch up with him and fall all over him much like an orgy of Roman times.

Although I think the taking off of shirts is is now banned. At least that’s what I was told when I complained after fruitlessly attending five consecutive matches of the local women’s soccer team.   

Anyway, most casual observers know I’m right: as do the aficionados.

The former follow soccer by listening to the final nil all score on the radio news.

The latter explain the lack of scoring on the “structure” being used by either side.

They use this word “structure” to imply there’s some pseudo-scientific aspect to the game - or activity.

Fair dinkum, I’ll puke if I ever again hear the word “structure” used in a soccer context.

Lately I’ve wasted a few hours trying to discern a “structure” in the Sydney FC team.

And I think I’ve nailed it.

Twelve blokes run onto the field.
One bloke, who’s paid a $squillion, picks and chooses wherever he wants to play.
The bloke in the green jersey plays goalie.
The slow blokes play defenders.
The blokes who aren’t slow enough play midfield.
The blokes who like throwing the ball in play near the sideline.
The couple of show-offs, or show ponies, play strikers. These are the blokes whose fathers coached the team when they played in the under 10s and they got to play closest to the goal in the hope of scoring a goal.
And
The bloke who is too slow to run to any of those positions becomes the referee.

That’s the Sydney FC structure.

 
More later

JWH (AO)
 

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Mar-29, 11:20 AM
Interesting paragraph in Max Presnell's column in the SMH "The Form".

"In that era champions chased immortality taking on the main handicaps and not the soft-option weight-for-age events seeking a winning sequence."  


Yeah yeah yeah, troglodyte and all that jazz but makes sense to me.


More later

JWH (AO)


 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Mar-29, 01:41 PM
Interesting paragraph in Max Presnell's column in the SMH "The Form".

"In that era champions chased immortality taking on the main handicaps and not the soft-option weight-for-age events seeking a winning sequence."  


Yeah yeah yeah, troglodyte and all that jazz but makes sense to me.


More later

JWH (AO)


 

Where they chasing immortality or prize money ?

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Apr-07, 01:07 PM
The call of the George Ryder Stakes as some might have had it.


"And at the 200 it's King Mufhasa still the one to run down

Fontelina is getting up on the inside

And Manighar and Reliable man finishing well down the outside

And Shoot Out's making his bid

But getting close to the line it's King Mufhasa second with Shoot Out getting up for third just in front of Manighar, Fontelina Reliable Man etc."


More later

JWH  (AO) 

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Apr-07, 02:57 PM
  :lol:  you richard cranium
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2013-Apr-07, 07:29 PM
Watched patches of a doco on Joan Báez (ABC 1) this afternoon and saw a very young Dylan in a duet, worth watching if ABC due do a repeat on 1; 2 or 3.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Apr-07, 08:45 PM
Thanks Westie.  emthup

Baez gave Dylan a leg up early in his career. She was already a name and she helped him make his.

They became "an item', lovers, at the time.

As these things happen, they parted for one reason or other.

I've posted this clip previously, and it still brings a lump to my throat as she performs his song "It Ain't Me Babe."



 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2013-Apr-07, 09:16 PM
That was the duet tune they did together in the doco  8-)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Apr-07, 09:30 PM
I once bought Mrs JWH a present: A Joan Baez double album "Any Day Now"

She (Joan that is) with her beautiful voice singing His beautiful songs.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2013-Apr-07, 09:55 PM
Do you have this album: Joan Baez Sings Dylan
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Apr-08, 01:21 PM
No, I haven't Westie but I've just looked it up and it has 15 of the 16 songs from Any Day Now.

The song left off was Sad-Eyed Lady which Dylan later in his song "Sara", dedicated to his wife Sara, told her that he'd stayed up all night in the Chelsea Hotel writing Sad-Eyed lady for her.

Now whether she left it off your album due to that or because it's such a long song that she was able to fit another five wonderful songs into yours I don't know.




     
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Apr-21, 05:37 PM
I'm struggling to come to grips with the current notion that Islamic fundamentalists are somehow on the "left" of the political spectrum.


More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Apr-28, 08:07 AM
At the Waterhouse breakfast table.

Robbie "Gai?"

Gai "Yes, Robbie"

Robbie "How did More Joyous pull up after trackwork this morning?"

G "Shhh, Young Tom is in the next room doing his homework while watching Captain Kangaroo and you never know what he might hear and tell the kids at school.

Robbie "Fair enough"

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-May-02, 08:49 PM
MoreJoyousgate

A secret tape has come to hand which might shed some light on the matter.

More later

JWH (AO)

[ Invalid YouTube link ]
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-May-02, 11:23 PM
I'm struggling to come to grips with the current notion that Islamic fundamentalists are somehow on the "left" of the political spectrum.


More later

JWH (AO)



Retweeted by @Authorized
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-May-14, 10:54 AM
So in a nutshell:-

Singo gets fined for being drunk and disorderly.

Gai get's pinged for not completing her stable's record of horses' treatments.

Those who detest the Waterhouses will continue to detest the Waterhouses.

God's in his heaven; all's right with the world.


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ricochet88 on 2013-May-14, 03:56 PM
Very succinct Geoff,   emthup
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-May-25, 03:41 PM
You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw the third placegetter in the third at Doomben today is by Ferocity and not that other sire.


More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2013-May-25, 08:07 PM
You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw the third placegetter in the third at Doomben today is by Ferocity and not that other sire.


More later

JWH (AO)

FOREPLAY

11yo Bay Horse
D.O.B: 10-Sep-2001
by DANEHILL (USA) from PROCRASTINATE
View Pedigree Report


  :lol:   :lol:    :lol:   :beer:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jun-08, 08:20 PM
Take my tip:-

At the moment, seedless red grapes are to die for.

More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jun-11, 08:18 PM
I have a loved one in Jordan as we speak.

Spoke to her at half-time in the Aust v Jordan match.

Seems it is a quasi public holiday there.

Says she's very pleased we are leading 1-0 but is torned as it is so important to so many people there who don't have a lot.

Says that she's more devoted to Souths winning a League match than to Aust winning a soccer match.

I'm so proud of her.

More later

JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Jun-11, 08:46 PM
  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jun-13, 08:05 PM
It seems that it is impossible for the powers that be of both the Catholic Church and the Defence Forces to rid both organisations of inappropriate sexual behaviour of those under their command.

Why?

Maybe the lack of democratic principles in both could be a clue. :bulb:

More later

JWH (AO)

 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2013-Jun-13, 08:11 PM
so Communism isn't the answer then   :chin:

more later   8-)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jun-30, 03:11 PM
What genius, commissioned by the AFL, decided that a BYE round shouldn't attract competition points?

The fans cop it in the neck in two ways:-
A- They don't see their team play that weekend
B- That weekend is regarded as a loss when the ladder is determined.

Byes in sport, mean that a team progresses as though it's had a win.

The AFL powers-that-be need to reconsider this decision.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Jun-30, 05:41 PM
What genius, commissioned by the AFL, decided that a BYE round shouldn't attract competition points?

The fans cop it in the neck in two ways:-
A- They don't see their team play that weekend
B- That weekend is regarded as a loss when the ladder is determined.

Byes in sport, mean that a team progresses as though it's had a win.

The AFL powers-that-be need to reconsider this decision.



I have never understood why you would get 2 points you never earned ?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jun-30, 05:44 PM
I have never understood why you would get 2 points you never earned ?


Well they say a day you never learn something is a day wasted.

Glad I was of assistance.  emthup
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Jun-30, 05:52 PM
Its an interesting psychological issue.

Where is DJH ?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Skybeau on 2013-Jun-30, 07:22 PM
What's the use of getting points when everyone has a bye?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jun-30, 07:47 PM
A bye is a win as the player had no opponent.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jul-09, 08:09 PM
Murray winning the US Open was bad enough.

No British player has won a major since Fred Perry was laid to rest.

But at least no British player had won Wimbledon since Fred Perry.

And now bloody Murray has stuffed that up.

Thinking.... thinking.... thinking.

I know:- :bulb:

No Englishman has won a major, or particularly Wimbledon, since Fred Perry. :no1: :no1:

At least that should keep the acid of Souths for a few years, or decades.  :king:  

   
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jul-09, 08:17 PM
PS

Have I ever said how sad I was that North Sydney was kicked out of the NRL? :sad:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2013-Jul-09, 08:31 PM
PS

Have I ever said how sad I was that North Sydney was kicked out of the NRL? :sad:

north / south /east /west   :chin:

next thing you will be AC/DC   :chin:

  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: sobig on 2013-Jul-09, 08:53 PM
While Fred Parry was the last EnglishMAN to win Wimbledon

Virginia Wade was the last English player to win.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jul-18, 07:23 PM
Fair dinkum!!!

What sort of a government do we have?

Not only has it screwed us with its new proposal regarding novated car leases, it has refused my submissions that my yacht and alpine chalet should also be funded by the Joe Blow taxpayer.

Grrrr
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Jul-18, 07:30 PM
Is Kylie still claimable through Medicare ?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jul-18, 07:36 PM
Shush.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jul-21, 01:50 PM
I take it the authorities destroy the boats on which the asylum seekers arrive.

We should go to Indonesia, seek out the source of these leaky boats, and pay 20% more than what the people smugglers are paying, and then destroy the boats.

The supply of second-hand fishing boats must dry up eventually.

Problem solved.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Jul-30, 12:12 PM
PP and Auth are running a comp for us to choose rising two year olds. This has a closing date of 1st Aug.

On Sunday night I saw that only nine forumites had entered.

I thought PP and Auth deserved a better roll-up.

So I initiated a reminder thread on the "Racing" section on the forum as I believe this section has a wider readership than the "Comp" section.

This thread was deleted by a Mod.

I raised another thread asking why it was deleted and this was also deleted without the coustesy of an explanation.

I've learnt my lesson.

Never again will I do anything to encourage participation by forumites an any activity of the forum.


JWH (AO)


 


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Sep-02, 12:01 PM
Which party do you trust to protect our borders?

The last time I looked that our borders were in danger was when a Labor prime minister who, despite the cries of the Conservatives, brought back our troops from North Africa to protect these borders of ours. Troops sent away, by a non-Labor government, to protect Britain despite the imminent threat posed to Australia by Japan.

The Conservatives agreed with their British idol Churchill that the Pacific was a secondary theatre of war and that Australia could be won back after the defeat of Hitler.

Which party do you trust to protect our borders?

Let history be your guide.

 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Sep-05, 09:21 PM
Nurse Kylie has come back to Aus after and extended trip overseas.

I know that as she knocked on the door this morning at about 6.30am.

Around 7.30 she suggested she that prepare some bacon and eggs for breakfast.

I told her that one of the downsides of the Viagra I was taking was that I had lost my appetite for breakfast.

Around 12.30pm she suggested a light lunch of roast beef sandwiches.

I told her that the Viagra had a similar effect on my appetite for lunch.

Around 7.30pm she suggested that she should heat up some vegetable soup for dinner.

I told her.....well you know what I told her.

Anyway, she then just looked up at me and in a raised voice told me "Well, get off because I'm famished."
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Nov-02, 07:42 PM
Isn't this a great?

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Nov-22, 08:40 PM
Re the apparent loss of interest in the forum comment on another thread, I posted some time about how I thought that Facebook and twitter was affecting the participation on the forum but I don't think I had a comment in reply. -Maybe everyone was on Facebook or twitter.

I'm on neither.

Firstly, I refuse to "follow" someone on twitter if they don't "follow" me and no one wants to follow me.

And I don't want to be someone's "friend" if they don't want to be my "friend".

And I haven't had a friend since Kathleen Maloney in kindergarten and she didn't want to be my friend after I ate her play-lunch when she wasn't looking. 

More later

JWH (AO)



Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2013-Nov-22, 08:47 PM
Well that explains a lot of things JWH
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2013-Nov-23, 01:11 AM
Nurse Kylie has always said she wanted nothing more than friendship with you Jonathan Wesley Harding.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2013-Dec-25, 06:55 PM
Was doing some last-minute shopping at the Supermarket yesterday when I came across a 65+year old woman and another woman who was obviously her daughter.

The conversation went like this:-

Woman "Excuse me can you please help us."

JWH   "Certainly, if I can."

W    "My husband asked me to buy some charcoal for the BBQ, do you think he means these heat beads?"

JWH   "Well, I'm not your gas or charcoal sorta BBQ guy, I'm more your paper, kindling and chunks of wood kinda BBQ guy. What sort of BBQ is it?

W    "Sausage, chops and steaks."

JWH   "Umm"

Daughter "MUM!!!. And continued "It's a metal round semi-circle with a plate and grill on top."

JWH   "Well, don't hold me to it but I reckon those heat beads should do the trick.

The three of us - "Merry Christmas"


I went off about my shopping thinking "Sausages, chops and steak  :biggrin: "

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Jan-12, 10:09 AM
Had a bit of a chuckle yesterday when Simon Zahra reminisced wryly about Amaethon's second race start.

A two year old race at Flemington.

He fancied Amaethon's chances although there was a 2/1 filly the favourite.

"She'll have to be good the beat Amaethon" Zahra remembers he said.

She was.

Black Caviar was her name.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2014-Jan-30, 10:59 PM
.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2014-Feb-01, 10:30 PM
place comp winners for today   :no1:

Gmellas  $68
Vadim $41
Bet-u-bob $41
Fours $38
Spudda $33

whispering gone from this comp and others  (allegedly )

geeees there is a lot of unused threads lately 

 :beer:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2014-Feb-01, 10:36 PM
  :slaphead:

more later  8-)

rat ao,ac,qc,   :/

 :beer:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Feb-23, 06:24 PM
Just what is the definition of a celebrity "star"?

On a passing bus I saw an exhortation for me to have "Breakfast with the Stars" - Jules, Merrick and Sophie on 2Day FM .

The only "stars" with those name that I could recall we-

Verne
Joseph aka John
and
Tucker.

Are these three going to be dug up?

More later
JHW (AO)
 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Mar-13, 08:14 PM
wily ole dog
Group 1
user 218
Offline Offline
Posts: 16429

ignore user

Send PM    Yesterday at 06:22 PM

 
Funny you say that lert. It was a long time ago, about the mid 90's. Memory is a bit dim but the little grub pulled it after the flucs were something like 33's into 2's. The stewards summonds me to an enquiry about the horse after a dodgy ride on it next time and asked why we backed it the previous start and not the next. They believed it was hooked again
I informed them that I did back.
Stewards : " The bookmaker flucuations dont support that sir"

wily; I backed the horse

Stewards;  "Have you got proof that the horse was backed on course for you"

Wily; No, I didn't back the horse on course

Stewards; This wasn't a TAB meeting sir

Wily; I know that

Stwewrds;  we then contend that you didn't back the horse

Wily; I did back it, with an off shore bookmaker

Stewards;  We don't believe that sir, no one would be taking bets on this meeting

wily; Alan Tripp did in Vanuatu and I can provide you the account statements

Steward; Silence folowed by mumbling and further disbelief lol

They got a copy of the staements shortly after and nothing was 





A transcript of the adjourned stewards' enquiry has come to light.

Chief Steward " We've examined those statements you provided, Wily, and have concluded they weren't of your account."

Wily "It was a good try"

CS "So did you in fact have a bet on your horse with an offshore bookmaker?"

W "Yes, I did"

CS "And for what amount was that bet?"

W "Ten large"

CS " So how much was that?"

W " 10,000"

CS "Dollars?"

W "No lire, the offshore bookie was in Milan"

CS "So that's about A$7.15"

W " I had to buy at the bank's selling rate"

CS "So, how much did that equate to?"

W "A$ 8.69"

CS " Please go home"

W " But I had to pay telegraphic transfer fees, account establishment fees and all that stuff"

CS "Wily, please leave"

W "And the wife found out and wanted me to take her to dinner."

CS " That's quite enough, we get the picture."

W " I suggested the local Chinese but she wanted a swank joint with water views"

CS "We've heard more than enough"

W "You've got no idea how much wine cost me"

CS "Wily, we've had it up to here, you stay but we're going home. Shut the doors on your way out"

W "Hang on, what about the cocktails I bought at the nightclub on the way home"

W "Hello."

W "Hello, is there anyone still there?"


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2014-Mar-13, 08:28 PM
  :lol:   :lol:   :lol:

 :beer:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2014-Mar-13, 08:44 PM
One of your best JWH  :lol:   :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Apr-06, 10:05 AM
After The Slipper a chap showed me the three First Four tickets he had on the race:-

MOSSFUN
BRING ME THE MAID
EARTHQUAKE
FIELD

My Comment - Geez you were stiff.

Then he showed me the second
MOSSFUN
EARTHQUAKE
BRING ME THE MAID
FIELD

My comment - Well done.

And then the third
MOSSFUN
EARTHQUAKE
FIELD
BELIEVE YOURSELF

My comment - That's the most unbelievable winning bet I've ever seen.


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Apr-15, 07:51 PM
Is this for real?

And I'm not talking about the missing extra "r" or the missing "w".

Yesterday the Royal Commission enquiring into the Pink Batts Scheme - or whatever it's called - heard evidence from the founding member of the Polyester Insulation Manufacturers' Association, Warrick Batt.

Hands up those who don't just love an eponymous story.

Where's j.r.b when needed?

More later
JWH (AO)

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2014-Apr-15, 10:10 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2014-Apr-16, 03:37 PM
Was that JWH?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2014-Apr-16, 03:52 PM
Its what happens when he gets on the drink after Kylie has been away for a week.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2014-Apr-16, 04:01 PM
Its what happens when he gets on the drink after Kylie has been away for a week.


  :lol:   :biggrin:  :beer:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Jims Punting on 2014-Apr-20, 10:21 PM
At Mornington today there are two races from which numbers

1
2
3
4
5
and 7

have been scratched.


More later

JWH (AO)
And the winner of each of those two races, was the #9 horse.
And third placed in each of those two races, was the # 11 horse.
And neither of the #11's paid a dividend.

Both winners had won their previous starts as favourites, on Rain-affected tracks, by a combined 7 lengths.
Anything else we should know? Yes ... 60% of each field was scratched   :lol:

Nice thread   emthup
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-May-04, 07:17 PM
The Footy Show Channel 9 Sunday has a passing competition in which a First Grade footballer throws as many passes as he can at a target with various Footy Show panellists retrieving and throwing the ball back for a re-throw.

Everything happens in a panic.

There are also two junior players aged 6-10 years old who valiantly try to help the retrievers.

Frankly I think these kids are put in danger.

A pass thrown with full strength could do dreadful damage to one of these youngsters.

More later

JWH (AO)
   
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-May-17, 07:47 PM
The League is going overboard with this pink business.

More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2014-May-17, 09:49 PM
At the 73.48 minute of the Cowboys v Roosters game I heard the FOXTEL announcer mention JWH but missed the follow on conversation. your not on holidays up in Townsville are you ?.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-May-18, 09:32 AM
No, you missed the hyphen JW-H.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2014-May-28, 05:59 PM
Bob Dylan tickets go on sale next Tuesday - touring August September.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Jims Punting on 2014-Jun-26, 11:55 AM
Picked up our syndicate Lotto ticket this morning.

Made me feel really good.

Decided it was not that we might all share $22mil ... or even $13.75.

It was the warmth of doing something together with mates.

Walking home - 10 minutes from Peregian Village square - the sun - even at 10.30am still had no sting in it.
Have worked 8 x 12hr shifts in 9 days - lots of people work harder/longer.

But I asked myself also, how long has it been since I felt so good to be out strolling in the Sunshine, answerable to no one in particular, and enjoying the pink of good health.
What a blessing it really is to live in a place like the Sunshine Coast (or anywhere in Oz) and to have such opportunities and simple pleasures in life.

Sorry to spam your thread, JWH, but intentions are genuine - to share a long Tweet with you about how good it feels to be alive right now for me.

Many don't enjoy that.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2014-Jun-27, 11:08 AM
Good post Jim.

Beautiful day in Sydney will go for a stroll and watch the boats for a while.
I have been caught up in my own problems for the last few days forgotten to look up every once in a while and just enjoy life and how blessed we are.

Cheers  emthup  
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2014-Jul-16, 07:41 PM
One for you to watch: Prince Dylan 8-)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: winner on 2014-Jul-24, 09:31 AM
Present for you JWH.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Jul-25, 09:03 PM
  emthup
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Sep-08, 03:43 PM
Missed tickets when they went on sale BUT Mrs JWH "arranged" fantastic seats at last night's Opera House gig.

About fifteen yards from HIM with us in row 5.

Great show: best I've seen. :clap2:
 
 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Oct-03, 07:05 PM
Bless me Father for I have sinned

But I won't again if we win on Sunday night.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: monologue on 2014-Oct-03, 07:36 PM
How are the nerves holding up JWH?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Oct-04, 08:29 AM
Shot
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Oct-23, 07:14 PM
Farewell Gough.

Comrade, once again thanks for ringing me those fifteen years ago on my birthday. For you to do so from home at 9.30pm truly gobsmacked me.
 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Jims Punting on 2014-Oct-23, 08:24 PM
JWH ... what was your connection to the great fella?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2014-Oct-24, 09:48 AM
They were both Western Suburbs supporters in their youth many many MANY years ago.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Oct-24, 11:52 AM
JWH ... what was your connection to the great fella?

 :shy:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2014-Dec-13, 07:19 PM
The motto of human-induced climate change deniers is:-

"I don't care about the future generations, what have they ever done for me?"

More later

JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2015-Jan-26, 08:37 PM
Australia has three new knights.

1 The husband of the Monarch

2 The Chairman of the Council for the Order of Australia.

and

3 Sir JWH (AO)

More later


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ricochet88 on 2015-Jan-27, 06:27 AM
Australia has three new knights.

1 The husband of the Monarch

2 The Chairman of the Council for the Order of Australia.

and

3 Sir JWH (AO)

More later




Dont know about the first two BUT the third one richly deserved for service to the forum as chief S#!T STIRRER    :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Jims Punting on 2015-Jan-27, 08:03 AM
Is that Prince JWH of the Principality of Hutt River receiving that knuthood?

http://www.principality-hutt-river.com/
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2015-Jan-27, 08:20 AM
So nurse Kylie is now Lady Kylie ?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2015-Apr-05, 06:05 PM
It must be difficult living with a obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ricochet88 on 2015-Apr-10, 08:40 AM
How come the story in todays Telegraph  says:

  JWH brings grit and polish to Roosters  :what:

  Have you changed teams Jeff :whistle:

                                                               Ricochet  :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Jims Punting on 2015-Apr-23, 10:47 AM
It must be difficult living with a obsessive-compulsive disorder.
That's "an" OCD   :lol:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2015-Jun-08, 11:20 AM
I don't know whether it's me or the forum but I can't access the Weekday comp thread.

My selections for Mon 8 june are

1-3
2-1
3-3
4-9
5-5
6-3
7-5
8-5
9-6

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2015-Jun-08, 11:42 AM
I don't know whether it's me or the forum but I can't access the Weekday comp thread.

My selections for Mon 8 june are

1-3
2-1
3-3
4-9
5-5
6-3
7-5
8-5
9-6



i just posted your tips on that thread
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2015-Jun-08, 11:44 AM
Yep

Thanks again
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2015-Jul-26, 12:25 PM
The Footy Show Channel 9 Sunday has a passing competition in which a First Grade footballer throws as many passes as he can at a target with various Footy Show panellists retrieving and throwing the ball back for a re-throw.

Everything happens in a panic.

There are also two junior players aged 6-10 years old who valiantly try to help the retrievers.

Frankly I think these kids are put in danger.

A pass thrown with full strength could do dreadful damage to one of these youngsters.

More later

JWH (AO)
   


I haven't seen the show for some time but tuned in today.

No kids in sight.  emthup

Was there an announcement about their absence whenever it was they were flicked from the show?


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2016-Feb-07, 09:23 AM
Last night I flicked over to see the Hunter Cup and ten minutes before the race I caught the 7th at Menangle.

Winner Easy On The Eye @ 126/1 NSWTAB (151/1 fixed).

Right on the heels of that race came the 11th at Traralgon.

Winner Summer Kate 49/1.

Pretty rare occurrence, I'd say.
 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Jims Punting on 2016-Feb-07, 03:31 PM
Last night I flicked over to see the Hunter Cup and ten minutes before the race I caught the 7th at Menangle.
Winner Easy On The Eye @ 126/1 NSWTAB (151/1 fixed).
Right on the heels of that race came the 11th at Traralgon.
Winner Summer Kate 49/1.
Pretty rare occurrence, I'd say.
Yes - rare

First two legs of the Menangle quaddie:
R5: 12 Win $1.00 Place $1.00 (Fixed $1.02)
R6: 1 Win $1.00 Place $1.00 (Fixed $1.04)

What's the point of having a bet in those ... exotics?
Must have been all-ups hitting the pools, though I reckon the "liquidity providers" would have gotten their 5% rebates  :whistle:

Incidentally Tatts had Easy On The Eye at $51 fixed - paid $113
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2016-Feb-07, 04:04 PM
and Natalie Rasmussen drove all three winners.

 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2016-Mar-27, 05:19 PM

.








JWH (AO)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2016-Mar-27, 08:47 PM
Loved the youtube clip  8-)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2016-May-08, 08:24 PM
Politics with a racing bent

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-04-21/clarke-and-dawe:-'third-time-lucky'-first-up-from/7347466
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2016-Jul-02, 03:42 PM
Surely someone can design a better format for the senate voting paper.

The current one is a joke.

And a bad joke at that.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Gintara on 2016-Jul-02, 04:30 PM
I got home and my wife asked I'd I go?

I said the bloody ballot paper stretched from the top of one side, down across the bottom an up the other side (well nearly)

Bloody ridiculous  :shutup:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2016-Dec-04, 10:17 AM
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-04/political-barflies/8090634
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: westie on 2016-Dec-04, 08:02 PM
A well done MENE   8-)
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Jan-02, 12:02 PM
A reference in a thread took me to the Whirlpool forum.

Whilst there I meandered around a bit to see what's what there.

I read the section entitled "Legal Complaints".

I hope I'm not breaching any laws or rules or whatnot but I'm going to paste it here

It is a real hoot.

It really gave me a chuckle.


Legal Complaints


Whirlpool deals with legal complaints on a regular basis.

To give your complaint the best chance of being dealt with to your satisfaction, we would encourage you to simply follow our normal complaints procedure rather than worrying about legal matters. We are quite reasonable, especially when you are polite.

If you choose to go down the legal complaint path we will only discuss matters of law. We will cease any discussion of our community rules once we receive a formal legal complaint. We will not discuss potential breaches of our community rules with your lawyer. It's important to remember that while the forum rules help guide our decisions, we are not bound to them by law, nor are we bound to your interpretation of them.

I want a post or thread removed

Whirlpool only removes posts that either break our rules or breach Australian law. Just because a post or thread is critical of your business and you don't like it doesn't mean there are grounds to have it removed. In particular, please read the Defamation section of our rules.

I want the personal details of a user

Per our privacy policy, we will not disclose details of our users except in special cases. Threatening us with legal demands doesn't change that. We are happy to comply with reasonable court orders (e.g. preliminary discovery or subpoena as ordered by a court).

Things that do not improve your chances
•Complaining to our infrastructure provider, Bulletproof Networks. They can't help you even if they wanted to — they don't have any control over what we publish and are legally precluded from acting upon any complaints or threats about content.
•Threatening to engage a lawyer. We prefer it if you do, as it means you'll be better informed of your rights and we'll be less confused about the legitimacy of your grievance.
•Getting your lawyer to send us a letter. We receive them all the time; it's not going to intimidate us.
•Getting your lawyer to threaten us with dubious claims that don't stack up. This is surprisingly common. It causes us no end of amusement but ultimately means you have wasted your money.
•Threatening to sue us.
•Actually suing us in the hope that we settle. Been there, done that. Yawn.

How to lodge a legal complaint

We accept formal legal correspondence by email at legal@whirlpool.net.au. To reiterate, if you choose to engage us this way we will only consider the law and will not deal with matters regarding our forum rules.

If your lawyer wants a postal address so they can send their scary legal letter on scary legal letterhead, save some trees and save your money. Most lawyers know how to attach a PDF to an email, which is how we receive most correspondence today. If and when it becomes necessary we will provide your lawyers with a street address for physical deliveries.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: PoisonPen7 on 2017-Jan-02, 12:24 PM
Some of the people who, in recent times, had issues with the moderation of this forum, should go over there and try and say the things we permit here.

They would last less than 4 hours.

"Gambling" discussion would not be tolerated because of the popular "nanny state" view of gambling.

Most, if not all contributors to The Soap Box would be banned forever.

Site is owned by a "piece of work" who used to be a customer of a company I worked for in the early 2000's.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: jfc on 2017-Jan-03, 09:15 AM

Most, if not all contributors to The Soap Box would be banned forever.

Why the hell aren't you looking at problems here that you censors should be fixing?

Just flick through a few pages of Firezuki's efforts.

There is virtually nothing there that is not objectionable to an objective observer.

Mainly abuse and SPAM - e.g. stuff that everyone already knows, stuff rehashed ad nauseam, and brain dead cartoons and slogans.

Everything just bigoted hate.

Lots of people have better things to do than challenge his garbage, then be the object of his abuse.

Definitely driving away quality contributors from the joint.

Certainly not an overabundance of quality here.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: PoisonPen7 on 2017-Jan-03, 11:42 AM
Why the hell aren't you looking at problems here that you censors should be fixing?


Because I am not a moderator.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Mar-17, 12:48 PM
Ring ring

EFK "EFK here"

DA "David Attenborough"

EFK "David, how are you? Still protecting those endangered species?"

DA "I'm talking to an endangered species now."

EFK "What are you talking about?"

DA "About the laundering that was going on here under your stewardship."

EFK "The only laundering that I know of was when I assigned P1 or P2 to fetch my shirts on Friday afternoons."

DA "That's bullshit. We've just been pinged $45 million because of your hanky-panky. What do you say to that?"

EFK "HELLO DAVID, HELLO. I can't hear you. The satellite connection must be breaking up." 
       CLUNK

DA  "Grrrr.


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Apr-02, 10:35 AM

(https://s28.postimg.org/elux9qzsp/Bob.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/elux9qzsp/)



The 75-year-old received his award during a private event in Stockholm before a scheduled concert in the city.

Klas Ostergren, a member of the Swedish Academy, said the ceremony was a small, intimate event in line with the singer's wishes, with just academy members and a member of Dylan's staff attending.

"It went very well indeed," he said, describing Dylan as "a very nice, kind man".

Other members of the academy told Swedish media Dylan seemed pleased by the award.

During his show hours later, Dylan made no reference to the Nobel award, simply performing a set blending old classics with tunes from his more recent albums.

Dylan had declined the invitation to attend the traditional Nobel Prize banquet and ceremony on December 10, 2016 — the date of Alfred Nobel's death — pleading other commitments.
But in order to receive the award worth $1,172,585, Dylan must give a lecture within six months from December 10.

Dylan had said he would not give his Nobel lecture this weekend, but a recorded version of it would be sent later.

Taped Nobel lectures have occasionally been presented, most recently in 2013 by Canadian Nobel literature laureate Alice Munro.

The 2016 Nobel Prize in Literature was awarded to Dylan "for having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition".

He had expressed awe at receiving the Nobel Prize and thanked the Swedish Academy for including him among the "giants" of writing.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-May-24, 04:38 PM
 :hbd:

Bob
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Jun-06, 09:19 PM



  :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:   :noteworthy:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2017-Jun-07, 02:35 AM
Good timing ?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2017-Jun-07, 02:37 AM

Bob Dylan finally delivers Nobel Prize lecture, mere days ahead of deadline

Rob Moran

Published: June 6 2017 - 10:04PM

If he missed the cut-off, he wouldn't get his $1.2 million prizemoney.

Even Nobel Prize winners are procrastinators, it seems.

Musician Bob Dylan has finally delivered his Nobel lecture, a prerequisite for the award's accompanying prizemoney, almost eight months after he was controversially awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in October.  

The singer had been granted six months from December 10, the date of the Nobel Prize ceremony, to deliver his lecture in order to receive the 8 million krona ($1.2 million) prizemoney.

He made the deadline with just days to spare.

In the 30-minute address, reportedly sent to the Nobel Prize academy via audio link, Dylan waxes poetic on the connection between his song lyrics – "folk lingo, the only vocabulary I knew" – and classic literature, as jazzy piano chords play in the background.

In a pronounced laconic drawl that online commenters have compared to late comedian Mitch Hedberg, the musician discusses his early admiration of Buddy Holly and black blues and folk music, before breaking down the formative novels he read in grammar school – Moby DickAll Quiet On The Western Front, and The Odyssey – whose themes, he says, later informed his music.

"If a song moves you, that's all that's important," he says in the speech. "I've written all kinds of things into my songs. And I'm not going to worry about it – what it all means."

Dylan's enthusiastic English tutorial was praised by the Swedish academy's permanent secretary Sara Danius, who called the speech "extraordinary and, as one might expect, eloquent," in a blog post.

"Now that the lecture has been delivered, the Dylan adventure is coming to a close," she wrote.

And perhaps not too soon, the added subtext might imply, as the musician ruffled feathers over the lengthy course of his Nobel-winning saga.

As well as backlash over Dylan's own nonchalance over the prize – he refused to acknowledge the honour for weeks after his win, before announcing he would miss the December 10 ceremony, where the winner traditionally delivers their lecture, due to "pre-existing commitments" – the academy's initial announcement was met with criticism from author types, including Irvine Welsh and Gary Shteyngart, who thought the prize should've been awarded to a deserving novelist rather than a songwriter.

Dylan seemed to respond to those criticisms in his speech's closing stanza, saying "songs are unlike literature."

"The words in Shakespeare's plays were meant to be acted on the stage. Just as lyrics in songs are meant to be sung, not read on a page," he said.

"I hope some of you get the chance to listen to these lyrics the way they were intended to be heard: in concert or on record or however people are listening to songs these days." 

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2017-Jun-07, 02:41 AM

Bob Dylan has delivered a lecture to qualify for the cash reward that comes with the Nobel prize for literature, months after the singer-songwriter was named the winner at a ceremony he declined to attend.

“When I received the Nobel prize for literature, I got to wondering exactly how my songs related to literature,” Dylan, 76, said in a recorded 26-minute address.

“I wanted to reflect on it and see where the connection was. I’m gonna try and articulate it to you — and most likely it will go in a roundabout way.”

He does not disappoint, offering freewheeling summaries of three books that he said were special influences — Moby-DickAll Quiet on the Western Front and The Odyssey.

Of Moby-Dick, he wrote: “We see only the surface of things. We can interpret what lies below any way we see fit. Crewmen walk around on deck listening for mermaids, and sharks and vultures follow the ship. Reading skulls and faces like you read a book. Here’s a face. I’ll put it in front of you. Read it if you can.”

He also highlighted the influence of Buddy Holly and Huddie William Ledbetter, the American folk and blues musician known as Lead Belly.

In a warm, raspy delivery, with lounge-style piano in the background, he called Buddy Holly his first musical hero, praised his “imaginative verses” and remembered seeing him in concert not long before Holly died in a 1959 plane crash.

“Something about him seemed permanent and he filled me with conviction,” Dylan said of seeing Holly on stage. “Then out of the blue, the most uncanny thing happened, he looked at me right straight there in the eye and he transmitted something, something I didn’t know what. It gave me the chills.”

Dylan’s relationship with the Swedish Academy, which awards Nobel prizes, has been testy. He irked some academy members by failing to comment for weeks after he was named the winner. He declined to attend the ceremony in December, opting instead to collect the award privately later. To qualify for the £715,000 ($1.2m) cash prize he had to deliver a lecture by June 10.

He ended his lecture with what seems like a teasing jab at the academy. “Songs are unlike literature,” he said. “They’re meant to be sung, not read ... I hope some of you get the chance to listen to these lyrics the way they were intended to be heard: in concert or on record or however people are listening to songs these days. I return once again to Homer, who says: ‘Sing in me, oh Muse, and through me tell the story.’ ”

The Times

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Bubbasmith on 2017-Jun-23, 01:08 PM
I have just come across this blog,does anyone read this rubbish ?
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: mortdale on 2017-Jun-23, 01:40 PM
.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Jun-23, 01:47 PM
 Mort

I'm not exactly sure how long you've been around here but this rubbish of mine has been around  about seven years.

The site is called "Racehorse Talk" but it, and its predecessor, has always been more than just race talk. 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: mortdale on 2017-Jun-23, 02:41 PM
.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Jun-23, 03:29 PM
Mort

If you take a couple of minutes to think it might twig that I was lampooning ( or trying to) social media and some people's obsession with letting all and sundry know everything about themselves.

If the subject of those early posts didn't  ring a bell then surely the name of this thread should have given a clue.

Anyway, there's no compulsion on anyone to read anything.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: mortdale on 2017-Jun-25, 09:40 AM
Mort

If you take a couple of minutes to think it might twig that I was lampooning ( or trying to) social media and some people's obsession with letting all and sundry know everything about themselves.

If the subject of those early posts didn't  ring a bell then surely the name of this thread should have given a clue.

Anyway, there's no compulsion on anyone to read anything.

JWH, I read your response in depth and I need to apologize as I now see that you were only taking the "micky" out of the modern day blogger with their over zealous need to tell everyone of their movements 24/7.

Yesterday I took my 3 nephews out to the movies and then lunch. All through lunch they were taking pictures and sending to their friends with every detail of their food etc.

I said, "turn those phone offs we are having a family lunch". You would have thought I had broken their legs.

JWH, I can see your early blogs were written out of frustration just like my actions yesterday.

Have a good Sunday.

 :clap2:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Sep-03, 11:45 AM
I've just noticed that the prospective new star of the turf is Vega Magic and the granny of the currently undisputed champion of the turf, Winx, is the similarly named, yet unrelated (as far as I know, Auth to advise) Vegas Magic.

Well, it's interesting to me.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: sobig on 2017-Sep-03, 02:17 PM
Definitely no relation there jwh.

The name Vegas Magic comes from her grand dam Vegas whereas Vega Magic's name comes from her sire Lope de Vega,
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Sep-03, 02:54 PM
So I know that Sobig :beer: but Auth likes going back into the dim dark ages to show that there was a common ancestor.

So I wanted to qualify what I wrote.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2017-Sep-05, 04:03 AM
I shall look into it later.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Sep-14, 02:50 PM
I notice an opinion piece by Elmer Funke Kupper in the Financial Review has his credentials noted as "a private investor.  He was previous chief executive of ASX and director of the Business Council of Australia."

Seems he has expunged his gig at TABCORP from his CV.

I wonder why. :chin:

Remember those rollicking good times, right here on this very thread, when EFK, our erstwhile mate praiseworthy,(aka P1) and our current mate philby42 (aka P2) and EFK's PA Marge used to have the times of their lives with all of us being privy to all the activities?

I might just go back to the start of this thread and re-live those times when I can spare a few hours or so. :bulb:

More later



 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Oct-21, 03:57 PM
Seems to me that the Caulfield Cup winner was bred for 7 furlongs rather than 1 1/2 miles of a hot pace. 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Oct-23, 07:48 PM
https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/922323387271168000
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2017-Nov-11, 11:05 AM
For the life of me I can't work out why today's 10f Emirates Group 1  is worth twice the Darley 6f Group 1 race  :what:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2017-Nov-12, 08:56 AM
One day, in the not too distant future, it will take over from the Cox Plate as Australia's premier race.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: PoisonPen7 on 2017-Nov-12, 09:20 AM
One day, in the not too distant future, it will take over from the Cox Plate as Australia's premier race.

The problem with that is that they are "watering the beer".

In a space of 5 weeks, you have the Turnbull, the Caulfield Stks, the Cox Plate and the McKinnon, interspersed with races like the Underwood (1800m) and the Makybe Diva (1600m) - all Group 1.

You cannot sustain the same quality across all races. The consistent Happy Clapper was beaten 1.5 lengths in the Emirates, and 6.55 lengths in the Cox Plate - sort of accentuates the point.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: PoisonPen7 on 2017-Nov-12, 09:28 AM
...lest I be seen as being negative, what I'd like to see the VRC do is to leave the Emirates where it is, and ramp up the Darley to 3 or 4 million. Look at the field it attracted yesterday.

In future years, I could envisage the international stables sending out teams that include stayers and sprinters, where the sprinters could run in the Everest- Darley double.

Would be a great feature of the whole carnival in general, and in particular the final day which sometimes can be a bit of an anti-climax.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2018-Feb-07, 07:16 PM




Come gather round people wherever you roam

And admit that our country don’t feel like our home

And that silence speaks louder than those who condone

If a tweet to you is worth favin’

Then lift up your voices and put down your phones

For the times they are a-changin’

 

Come women and men who hashtag MeToo

And believe me when I say that we believe you

For weak is the man who calls truth “fake news”

Time’s up, our silence we’re breaking

And even though Mel Gibson was in “Daddy’s Home 2”

Well, the times they are a-changin’

 

Come athletes with platforms throughout the land

Who by taking a knee are taking a stand

And before you shout out that they should be banned

Listen to what they are saying

Perhaps they’d stand up if you reached out your hand

Well, the times they are a-changin’

 

Come journalists, writers who report the facts

And brandish your pen to fend off his attacks

Look past what he says and look at how he acts

The fire and fury is raging

For his words can hurt, but your words can fight back

New York Times, they aren’t a-failin’

 

Come leaders who bully like internet trolls

We’ll curse you with four-letter words “love” and “hope”

For we will go high even when you go low

The order is rearranging

For you have the power, but we have the vote

The times they are a-changin’
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: ratsack on 2018-Feb-07, 10:27 PM
 :beer:   :clap2:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2018-May-25, 06:04 PM
Sorry for the late call, Bob.

Happy 77th

 :hbd:  :hbd: :hbd:
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2018-Jun-10, 05:57 PM

THIS, my friend, is what a racecourse should look like.


Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2018-Sep-23, 06:19 PM
Forget this rubbish about the "Roosters being Sydney's side" for this year's Grand Final.

I want Melbourne to win.

 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2018-Dec-30, 02:14 PM
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2019-Jan-22, 07:46 AM
So Craig Laundy looks like pulling the plug on his parliamentary career.

I've always thought if Craig Landy was a women he would be the perfect catch for any male.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: Authorized on 2019-Jan-28, 02:58 PM
There is a new podcast out that might interest you and others - The Hurricane Taps.

Whatever device you listen to podcasts with, they should have it.

Podbean is my podplayer of choice.

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2019-Mar-10, 08:31 PM
.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2019-Oct-16, 08:39 AM
So it seems that the supporters of the Bombers have been robbed.

And the coach and players have been subjected to career ending  and, more importantly, mental issues for those 6-7 years.

Someone should pay for this.

 
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: sobig on 2019-Oct-16, 01:07 PM
ASADA disagrees

ASADA strongly denies allegations of evidence manipulation reported in the media.

The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has sole responsibility for setting and determining prohibited substances. It is not possible to manipulate whether or not substances are prohibited.

Thymosin Beta 4 was included on the 2010 Prohibited List by WADA under a general category of substances being a growth factor affecting muscle, tendon or ligament, vascularisation and regenerative capacity.

The substance Thymosin Beta 4 was always banned before, during and after the Cobia investigation.

Thymosin Beta 4 has never been approved for human use.

Whether a substance was on ASADA’s former Check Your Substances tool has no bearing on its status as a prohibited substance on WADA’s Prohibited List.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2019-Oct-16, 02:14 PM
Yeah, well Ivan Milat disagreed too.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2019-Dec-05, 07:31 AM
What a pity.

England’s soccer player Lucy Bronze has won second place in the 2019 Ballon D’or.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: PoisonPen7 on 2019-Dec-05, 08:39 AM
Forget this rubbish about the "Roosters being Sydney's side" for this year's Grand Final.

I want Melbourne to win.

How'd that work out then.
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2020-Mar-27, 04:19 PM
Bob's just posted this new song

Loved some of the comments

Particularly the first by His Bobness

Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2020-Mar-27, 07:51 PM

twas a dark day in dallas, november '63
the day that would live on in infamy
president kennedy was a-ridin' high
good day to be livin and a good day to die
being led to the slaughter like a sacrificial lamb
he say wait a minute boys you know who i am
of course we do, we know who you are
then they blew off his head while he was still in the car
shot down like a dog in broad daylight
was a matter of timing and the timing was right
you got unpaid debts we've come to collect
we gonna kill you with hatred, without any respect
we'll mock you and shock you and we'll put it in your face
we've already got someone here to take your place

the day they blew out the brains of the king
thousands were watching at home and saw the whole thing
it happened so quick and so quick by surprise
right there in front of everyone's eyes
greatest magic trick ever under the sun
perfectly executed, skillfully done
wolf man oh wolf man oh wolf man howl
rub-a-dub-dub it's a murder most fowl

hush little children you'll understand
the beatles are comin they're gonna hold your hand
slide down the banister, go get your coat
ferry across the mercy and go for the throat
there's three bums comin all dressed in rags
pick pu the pieces and lower the flags
i'm goin to woodstock, it's the aquarian age
then i'll go to altamonte and sit near the stage
put your head out the window, let the good times roll
there's a party goin on behind the blessing door

stack up the bricks, pour the cement
don't say dallas don't love you, mr president
put your foot in the tank and step on the gas
try to make it to the tribon (?) underpass
blackface singer white face clown
better not show your faces after the sun goes down
up in the red light district like a cop on the beat
livin in a nightmare on elm street

when you're down in deep ellum put your money in your shoe
don't ask what your country can do for you
cash on the barrelhead, money to burn
at daly plaza, make a lefthand turn
i'm goin down the crossroads gonna flag a ride
the place where faith, hope, and charity died
shoot him while he runs boys, shoot him while you can
see if you can shoot the invisible man
goodbye charlie, goodbye uncle sam
frankly, miss scarlett, i don't give a damn

what is the truth? where did it go?
ask oscar wilde (?) and bo diddly, they oughta know
shut your mouth ______ (?)
business is business, and it's murder most foul

tommy can you hear me on the acid queen?
i'm ridin ....lincoln limosine
ridin in the backseat next to my wife
headin straight on into the afterlife
i'm leanin to the left got my head in her lap
oh lord i've been led into some kind of a trap
well we ask no quarter, no quarter do we give
we're right down the street from the street where you live
they mutilated his body and they took out his brain
what more could they do? they piled on the pain
but his soul was not there, where it was supposed to be at
for the last 50 years they've been searching for that

freedom oh freedom, freedom of ???
i hate to tell ya mister but only dead men are free
said mr ? tell me no lie
throw the gun in the gutter and walk on by
wake up little suzie let's go for a drive
cross the trinity river let's keep open eyed
turn the radio on, don't touch the dials
hartland hospital only six more miles

you got me dizzy ms lizzy you fill me with lead
that magic bullet of yours it goin on ahead
i'm just a patsy like patsy cline
never shot anyone from in front or behind
got blood in my eye, got blood in my ear
i'm never gonna make it to the new frontier
zepruter's film i seen the night before
seen it 33 times, maybe more
it's vile and deceitful, it's cruel and it's mean
ugliest thing that you ever have seen
they killed him once and they killed him twice
killed him like a human sacrifice

the day that they killed him someone said to me, son
the age of the antichrist has just only begun
air force one comin in through the gate
johnson sworn in at 2:38
lemme know when you decide to throw in the towel
it is what it is, and it's murder most foul

what's new pussycat, what'd i say?
i said the soul of a nation been torn away
and it's beginning to go into a slow decay
and that it's 36 hours past judgement day

wolfman jack he's speakin in tongues
he's going on and on at the top of his lungs
play me a song, mr wolfman jack
play it for me in my long cadillac
play me that only the good die young
take me to the place tom dooley was hung
the saint james infirmary in the court of king james
if you want to remember you better write down the names
play it the james too, play the prodigal line (?)
play it for the man with a telepathic mind
play john lee hooker, play scratch my back
play it for that stripclub ownder named jack
guitar slim goin down slow
play it for me and for marilyn monroe

play please don't let me be misunderstood
play it for the first lady she ain't feelin too good
play don henley, play glenn fry
take it to the limit and lettin' it go by
play it for carl wilson too
lookin far far away at down gallow avenue
play tragedy, play twilight time
take me back to tulsa to the scene of the crime
play another one and another one bites the dust
play the old rugged cross and in god we trust
ride the pink horse down that long lonesome road
stand there and wait for his head to explode
play mystery train for mr mystery
the man who fell down dead like a rootless tree
play it for the reverend, play it for the pastor
play it for the dog that got no master
play oscar blues, play stan getz
play blue sky, play dicky bettes
play art ?, thelonious monk
charlie parker and all that junk
all that junk and all that jazz
play somethin for the birdman of alcatraz
play buster keaton, play hal lloyd
play bugsy segal, play pretty boy floyd
play the numbers, play the odds
play cry me a river for the lord of the gods
play number nine play number six
play it for nancy and stevie knicks
play nat king cole, play nature boy
play down in the boondocks for terry malloy
play it happened one night and one night of sin
there's 12 million souls that are listenin in
play merchant of venice play merchants of death
play stand up by starlight from lady macbeth

don't worry mr president, hope's on the way
your brothers are comin', there'll be hell to pay
brothers, what brothers?
what's this about hell?
tell em we're waiting, keep coming, we'll get them as well

love field is where his plane touched down
but it never did get back up off the ground
was a hard act to follow, second to none
they killed him on the altar of the rising sun
play misty for me and that old devil moon
play anything goes and memphis in june
play lonely at the top and lonely are the brave
play it for houdini spinnin around in his grave
play jelly roll morton, play lucille
play deep in a dream and play driving wheel
play moonlight sonata in f#
and the key to the highway and the king of the heart
play marching through georgia and dumbarton's (?) drums
play darkness and death will come when it comes
play love me or leave me by the great bud towel
play the bloodstained banner, play murder most foul
Title: Follow JWH -the Tweet-Twitter Alternative
Post by: JWesleyHarding on 2020-Apr-10, 04:08 PM


https://twitter.com/MrAndrewCotter/status/1248313303270596610/video/1